Recent forum posts (all topics)

Hey everyone, looking for some support/help/relatiability..... 

We've unfortunately gone through a tragedy with saying goodbye to an immediate family member dying suddenly. While he was older, he got sick quickly and just went so quickly, it's been a whirlwind of 10 days. In the time our family member got sick, he passed away less than a week later and then we had the funeral and services that are relevant for the country I live in super fast - which is normal by the culture here. 

My husband has ADHD that he is not being treated for/managing. I find myself reading all of the books and listening to all of the podcasts, trying to understand what is going on and how I can help (I have some anxiety based attachment issues) but felt I needed some support from this group and others who might be feeling what I’m feeling. 

I cannot say this is the hardest thing I've ever had to go thru, but its definitely equal to the worst. There's no easy way around it, you just have to go through it and it's very  painful. Even if you've done it before, it still never gets easier.

This time however, I'm paying attention and doing things differently than in the past.  It doesn't make the pain going away, but it does help tell me where I am in the process. For me, it's a little less scary this way.

I'm not sure what to do about my current situation - moreso about taking steps in the right direction and not just burying my head in the sand.... but my spouse has just deteroirated before my eyes over the last 2-3 years. Moreso in the last 6-10 months. It's just nothing any of us do is getting through that there's an issue or a problem. Not that HE'S the problem, it's the unmanaged symptoms and its that he just doesn't handle stress AT ALL. He can't handle life or stress or any of it. 

I've been married to my spouse with likely ADHD for about 5 years.  We have a son together and another child on the way.  Prior to getting pregnant (maybe the past 3-6 months especially), my spouse and I were in a much better place that we had ever been.  He was carrying his weight with our child, we were both working full time, we were communicating well, and we were generally getting along well.

If you’ve spent two decades watching your social and other life crumble because of your spouse’s ADHD, how do you then let go of your people pleasing?

I'm new here, and almost finished reading your book The ADHD Affect on Marriage.    It has been hopeful.   My partner has (we think) ADHD and perhaps Autism.  We've been together 9 years and are in our 60s.    I felt validated reading the stories of frustration and anger.

There was a question raised about getting back to the original love you felt.... I'm struggling as to whether I actually felt that and if I want it.   I have lost almost all respect for my partner, and am just fed up.   

Me (non ADHD) and my wife (ADHD) have been together for over 20 years. She always suffered with various mental health issues but was given an ADHD diagnosis a couple of years ago. For 18 years I always felt like I was the centre of her world. I felt appreciated, loved and wanted. In the last couple of years I have gone from hero to villain. Now it seems like everything I do irritates her. Like she has a constant grudge against me for the smallest of things. I am not perfect but I do a lot to be a good father, good husband and have done countless things to try and re-ignite the spark.

Just finished reading the chapter "The Surprising Ways ADHD symptoms Affect Your Marriage" in the book "The ADHD Effect on Marriage." As many of you know, that chapter is an extensive discussion of the chore wars that take place in an ADHD relationship where one partner has ADHD and the other does not. The problem is, in my marriage, although I'm the ADHD spouse, I'm the "chore master" and my non-ADHD partner is extremely "chore avoidant". My question is, how common is this pattern, since it runs contrary to the book?

I've separated from my ADHD husband (I think there's a bunch of other undiagnosed stuff going on there too - autism, possibly NPD, idk).