When I first started dating my husband we were very much in love,Well who is not,love at first sight,yep that kind of thing actually happened to me.Well his loving kindness went straight to my heart and before getting to know him properly,we got married,not a legal marry,but a nika.Nika is a marriage consent between you and the person and a priest and two witnesses.I took him home to live with myself,my two kids and my mom.I live in a well peaceful,comfortable,loving home and since we were just starting of as newly weds I never thought of the damages it could cause my family.I never knew what ADHD was until just a month now about the same time I joined the marriage forums.All was well after coming to live home with my family at first but then after a two months into the marriage trouble started.He was so rude to my mother,he chased my daughter from my room but in a very bad/nice way,he treated my pets like if they were carrying illnesses and they are so sweet(my cats).My uncle of whom is my mother's brother is very sick and I take care of him,he is unable to go out or prepare meals, so I would do it, or the helper we hired.But one sunday morning I got up to make my uncle breakfast and my husband was so mad and angry that I got of bed and not stayed in a little longer.How could he be so evil when my uncle is so sick.He was so mean and jealous all the time that If I cook great dishes he's mad/jealous,if I love up my pets too much,take care of my uncle,play the music to loud which was never loud as he claimed,whatever I did don't matter what he was mad and jealous.
To much I could not take it any more, it was danger for my family's and my mental stability.I always knew he was sick with some kind of mental problem, but was not sure at the time.I struggle like this with him for over 5 months,of course it was a challenge for me and I had a lot of heart palpitations,depressions,and feelings of sadness and even regrets.My kids,mean the world to me and I took care of them on my own working so hard to make sure they have everything and keep them happy all the time, and then the man that vowed to love,honor,comfort and keep me safe has broke all vow's thus far.Including being faithful.He made my daughter cry because right in front of me he tried to control and take away my parenting of both of my kids.I never mind if he gave me proper directions but how could he when he himself don't have proper directions after leaving his kids from another state running from child support, when one of two of his kids is a baby.Shame on him!I will never make a child for him.He is 47 and I am 32 and he is not ready for marriage,settling down,kids NOTHING! He forced him self for the sake of safe sex I'm sure.Now after five month's of serious torture he finally got an apartment and left.THANK GOD....My kids can breath again.Now we spend time home by him and it's just me and him.Me and him!! All the time but,only on weekends and sometimes during the week.So then his mom would call we would go visit but we never go often because she has ADHD too and he can't stand his mother much less me standing him.Then his sister would come to visit from over seas and we would go by her,his sister this one in particular is from a different mother,so he would get along with her better,his friends we would go hang out, any thing that's attach to him it's not a problem.He is very to him self at times too and no one not even me could go near him.Now and even before when my family calls, or my kids want to go places he won't go with me or sometimes let me go before giving me a sour face.His childish,jealous ways is making me sick to my stomah.I want to leave him one day but can't say when,it's already in my mind cause I want freedom again,I feel so tired and frustrated and bitter,angry and sad at times.I want out! out of the misery,out of the pain,I want to love and be loved but not with selfishness,greed,jealously and anger with pride.I want my kids to be happy with the person I chose and for that person to be happy with them also..I want all the goodness life has to offer.That would not happen as long as I am with my husband.....any comments feel free to add..and share thoughts.thanks people for listening.....................from:lovehurtsalotwithanger.
