Submitted by Beachlover68 on 05/10/2014.
We have had a total breakdown of communication here. The most seemingly benign topics can lead to a fight. We are both extremely defensive. I freely admit this about myself. Everything I say is met with the opposite scenario. No empathy for my point of view...ever. Makes me feel unimportant and like what I think doesn't matter. If I voice that I feel that way in any way, shape or form it leads to his rage. Every. Single. Time. I do not rage. If I showed the amount of anger that he did, I can't imagine his reaction. Maybe I should try it. Couldn't be much worse than our current communication pattern.
Anger Patterns and Melissa's new book
Submitted by ADHDMomof2 on
If you haven't read either of Melissa Orlov's books, I highly recommend them to you. The second one is really helping me move to a better place with my husband. It addresses a lot of issues that we in ADHD relationships (from either side) encounter, and in a different way than the first. 5 stars out of 5.
I have been where you are now; perhaps from the ADHD vantage point, but I understand the two-sided anger. It's so frustrating when both partners are so angry and feel so chronically misunderstood that EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, EVERYTHING, gets misinterpreted and taken the wrong way, even completely innocuous things. The only person you control is you. Easy to comprehend intellectually, harder to live practically, but very, very true. In the past few weeks, thanks to Melissa's book, I have been able to not only survive with my husband, but we are actually starting to work TOGETHER, for the first time. I'm finally beyond the "parallel play" stage of life ;). I'm not just improving myself. He wants to work with me, I want to work with him. This is new. It can happen.