Submitted by stevensunyoto on 07/12/2016.
Hello, I am a male, 26 years old non ADHD . Currently i'm in a long distance relationship with my girlfriend . She is 26 years old with ADHD .
I will tell the story about my GF first . She has lived alone for 7 years because her parents works overseas and never come back in the past few years .
She doesn't have many friends . Her only close friend is a girl, 30 years old with ADHD too, currently not married and never been in a relationship with anybody .
We have been in relationship for almost 7 months . at first, everything goes okay and not so many problems with communication even though we live in different city .
She even make me a handmade scrapbook when i came to visit her . We talk about what will our family will be, we talk about the future, we talk about moving into the same city .
At 2 months of our relationship, she told me that she have ADHD . At first, I don't know anything about it and i thought that it was not a big problem for us .
But everything change until my GF wants a breakup .
She told me "I lost feeling with this relationship, and i don't think you could handle with me in marriage . I love my single life and i don't even know what happen with me" . "I lost feeling with you and don't think to get into any relationship with the other guy, i will just make your dream and other guy dream ruined"
What happen with her ? Is ADHD can make a mood swing that fast ?
What should i do with her ? I love her but i don't even know how to do right now .
In my case, does her ADHD friend makes situation better or worse ?
Hi @stevensunyoto, I am not
Submitted by andrucd on
Hi @stevensunyoto, I am not an expert with ADHD but I can tell you something from my experience, I know you are hurting because I think you love her.
I had been in a 3 year long relationship with my fiance who has ADHD. We had been in a long distance relationship for a year now, he lives in another country, and we where supposed to marry next August.
Like 2 months ago I started noticing he became distant with me, he said he was loaded with work and he was depressed because he missed me, but nothing was wrong, so we stopped talking every day and started talking every week.
A month ago I traveled to see him, after not seeing each other for 7 months but he acted really distant, he said it was because of work, turns out he is dating someone else and has wedding plans with her too. That experience broke my heart, and I am still hurting because of it and and because I had everything ready.There are nights where I don't sleep and cry..
My advise to you is to back off, even if it hurts, at least she is being honest with you. It will be hard for you, it will be, but don't give in to contacting her, because then you will hurt yourself waiting for her to have some contact with you or to suddenly "realize what she is losing", and will somehow start "begging" for her attention and that will compromise your self worth. Believe me, I have been through that and I've been hurt and I am trying to get over it every day.
Give her some time to deal with everything maybe she is going through a rough time, if she really want's to be with you, she will try to make contact with you, but don't sit around and wait for that to happen, focus on yourself and your well-being.
I hope you make a wise desicion. Take care!
Hi @andrucd . thank you for
Submitted by stevensunyoto on
Hi @andrucd . thank you for your advise .
Well, your situation almost same with me too .
Ill try to focusing on my life and my well being