My husband has a problem with going to work. If he's having issues with people at work, or he has some made up ailment (I've heard them all from "I've got the poops" to "My back is acting up" to 'I barely slept last night") or simply doesn't feel like leaving the house that day, he will take the day off. And he sits at a computer and deals with customers on the phone and in person so it's not like it's a physical job where he can't work due to all those ailments. And rarely is it ever just one day. Once he starts not going in, he can't stop. At his last job he got away with being out for literally weeks (once up to 3 weeks!) at a time without pay, without texting or calling in half the time and would go back and he'd still have a job. Granted, his job had a union so he pretty much couldn't get fired.
He has been at his new job for just about a year now, and it started out fine. No union here and it's only a shop of about 35-40 people.Then a couple months in he would take a day off just because, but he'd call in and go back the next day.Then he would take a day off, but not call or text his manager, just not show up. Still he would not get fired and even said that his manager said when he went in the next day that it was "cool" that he needed a day off. Well about 2 months ago he got so upset with a customer (he never told me this until a few days in of this imaginary sickness he had) that he ended up not going into work for 4 days straight and only texted his manager one of those days that he wouldn't be in. I was so stressed out thinking he'd lose his job, but nope. He came home after going back after all that time and said people were just happy to know he was okay. How did he not get reprimanded for that? How did he not get fired on the spot??
Now this past week he didn't go in at all. Started complaining Tuesday that he had an upset stomach and the chills and his neck hurt. I'll give him one day, but he's cried wolf so many times, I don't know when he's REALLY sick anymore. Then the next day it was just as bad, even though I never saw any signs of him having any of these ailments and that he seemed pretty peppy around me. Thursday he said he was better, but not full strength. Friday I come home and he tells me he feels great, but still didn't go in and Saturday he just didn't go in. The only time he texted his manager was his first day out and the following day...the other 3 days he didn't bother to do anything. And when he did text his manager on the 2nd day he told him he was at the walk in clinic. Funny because he never went! Even Facebook messaged his coworker who worries about him and told him that he was SO dehydrated that he was at the walk-in clinic on IV drip to get hydrated again. Then the next day told the guy he was still sick and on the couch eating crackers and sipping ginger ale, which is funny because we have neither in the house!
I am sure he'll go back to work tomorrow, but he is just so nonchalant about the whole thing. How can he just simply take days off lying about being sick, not call in, and saunter back into work and expect everything to be okay? Funny thing is, it probably will be! There's even a paragraph in his handbook saying that if you are out more than 3 days in a row in a 6 month period that you are subject to review, but obviously that isn't the case. NOBODY is out sick an entire week! People I work with are sick with the flu and they are back the next day...2 at the most! It infuriates me to the point where I want to just walk in there when I know he's playing the fake sick card and isn't there and act like I am looking for him, only to have them look at me weird and say "I thought he was really sick and at home?" and me go "What? No he's perfectly healthy I don't know why he's not here"! Because he never tells me he's not going in and never lets me know he's not there. He's very secretive about it. He'll wait for me to get home and find him there because he doesn't want to have me upset at work by him not going in.
I don't know if it was you,
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
I don't know if it was you, but a couple of years ago someone was posting that her husband often "just didn't show up" for work on many days and wasn't getting fired.
Maybe the boss doesn't mind because he's not paying out "sick time".
Does your H have any addictions? Seeing a mental health professional?
Yup, pretty sure that was me.
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Yup, pretty sure that was me. Why would you want to keep someone on when you can't trust that they will come in on a regular basis? I know damn well if H was the manager, he'd be fed up with an employee just taking days off at a time and not calling in.
H drinks a lot and even went to rehab for it 1 1/2 years ago, but that did nothing. Not drinking lasted about a month and then he went right back to it. He is not seeing any counselor of any kind.
It is crazy what my husband gets away with.
Submitted by DependentOrigination on
He is very adept at managing things to his liking. He drives aggressively and often breaks the law, yet every time he gets pulled over (about once every two months) he gets out of the ticket. I don't know how he does it but he either intimidates them or talks them into submission.
Same with work. Fortunately he is working from home now, but at his last job, he would barely show up for work (he does have a job where he travels a bit) and when they tried to pin him down to office hours, he would go for an hour, get angry and then leave.
He has avoided a disciplinary hearing with his SAR group by asking them to show him the bylaws saying he has to agree to arbitration and made them rewrite their whole SOP's.
It is crazy.
Do we have the same husband???
Submitted by Unpaid Housekee... on
As I was reading your post I had to stop a moment and scroll up to make sure that I didn't posted this myself in a sleep walk session! My husband is exaaaaaaactly the same way and I just don't get it! For the month of October I think he's probably called out for half of it. If it's not one excuse it's another. Today's excuse was that some new medication he's on causes insomnia and he only got about 1 hour of sleep. When I confront him about calling out so much he says that his bosses don't mind people calling out so long as they are meeting their goals (which he does somehow). I would think that they'd take notice if someone calls out THIS much though, and I just have this bad feeling that they will eventually fire him. This causes me to have a LOT of anxiety while I am trying to work and when I dread coming home. Our financial situation has gotten really bad because although he only makes $13/hour, times that by 8 and multiply it by a whole week or more...we're losing a LOT of money. He doesn't seem to care. He says that he will have a great commision check at the end of each month. He doesn't understand the concept that the extra money he gets only fills in the gap of what he loss and we break even. GRRR!
Anyway... I actually just got home about an hour ago and barely spoke to him. I made myself a quick microwavable dinner and sat down on the computer. I typed in a bunch of phrases about how my husband calls out too much and stumbled upon your post. I then promptly made this account JUST so I could respond to you! LOL! I hope your husband mans up real soon along with mine. I don't know what else we can do. I feel bad that I can't make him feel better and at the same time I feel horrible for nagging him about not going in. The anxiety is building up and its a no win situation for either of us.
Oh so I never updated you as
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Oh so I never updated you as to what the outcome was for him taking the entire week off. Same as before...he got no discipline action whatsoever! He said people were so worried about him and that they were glad he is ok! HOW is that possible???? He texted his boss only 2 of the 5 days he was out with made up excuses and didn't even check his phone for messages or calls the last three days he was out, like he just didn't care. How can you go back to work and face people after that? Then he still comes home acting like he has the most difficult job in the world because he has to deal with some rude customers and all he can do is take a bath, drink some beers and play his stupid video game...and most likely think up a new excuse to use for several days off. He literally told me that! I said to him "Well this isn't the last time you'll take days in a row off" and he goes "Well I can't use that excuse again so I'll have to come up with a new one". Yet here I am coming home from work and going grocery shopping, mowing the yard, doing laundry and vacuuming all before he even gets home. But nooooooooo, forget about asking him to do ANYTHING around the house after his "hard" day at work!