A quick post of my journey to find the best meds for me. Went to the doctor to get my meds changed from Adderall and Wellbutrin to Vyvance and Zoloft aimed at specifically reducing anger.
I know Zoloft worked pretty well for depression, but it did have those annoying side effects. Remembering what my initial prescriber for Adderall asked me ( test question): "from all the drugs you've taken, which one made you feel good, but not high?" My answer was amphetamines.
Now rethinking this again...there was another drug that made me feel even better and completely wiped out depression with residual effects lasting up to a month which were Psilocybin mushrooms. The only problem is, they make you extremely high! High enough to barely function ( but it sure feels good )
Now, people are doing this micro-dosing which I'm ready to try. If taking a bunch of little doses that don't make you high, but get the same depression killing effect as one large dose, then absolutely hands down, no other drug I've taken ( including antidepressants ) has worked as well in my experience. You not only don't feel depressed, but you feel really good and for quite a while after.
I was thinking about taking a big dose to clear the cob webs out my head ( a term we use to use ) but this micro dosing may prove to do the same thing which is really all I need.
I remember saying years ago : If they made all the world leaders of every country take a huge dose of Shrooms, there'd be no more war and everyone would get along.
I still maintain this to be true. They should make it mandatory.
I Really Think This is Significant
Submitted by J on
I included this article in another post but though it was worthy of this discussion. Just one read through and it's impossible not to notice the mentions of : depression, pattern thinking, rumination, rigid thought patterns, excess self focus and the mention of "other" psychiatric conditions. And how this mechanism, as they're calling it, addresses these issues directly.
I can't speak to any of this because neuroscience is not in my realm of understanding of all the specifics mentioned about receptors and the like. What I can speak to is my experience, especially at some of the most trying times in my life. Feeling intense social anxiety as a teenager along with severe depression at times. Feeling extremely insecure and low self esteem. And then suddenly, in an instant, having these feelings lifted, with a great sense of relief which carried on for quite a while after. My self confidence was boosted as well as feeling more secure, and less worried about things in general. I was less anxious, more relaxed and my quality of life improved overall.
I really can't recall any side effects aside from drinking beer and feeling a little hung over. A side note on the beer: The low amount of alchohol served to relax during the experience. It can be a little intense ( actually very intense ) at times, and beer helps control that. I always tended to do both at the same time for that reason, not to actually get drunk hence, the low alchohol content. Other than that, the mushrooms don't appear to have any real side effects. The only negative thing I can say is they taste aweful! Kind of like eating dirt that smells like used gym socks.
Anyway. I actually have some right now that were given to me by a friend. Im planning to do my own clinical study (on myself), but geared more towards the way it's done as therapy, not for recreation. I doing some research on proper dosing and setting, preparation and methods. I'm going to be paying close attention to the depression aspect in particular but still being aware any other changes I notice in terms of the things mentioned in the article. I'm also going to write things down and take notes: before, during and after. And also, pay attention to how long the after benefit effects last. Since I started taking Zoloft, the recommendation is to taper off 2 weeks before. I just started less than a week ago, and am currently tapering off Wellbutrin. There doesn't appear to be any drug interactions but the SSRI's can reduce the effect of the Psilocybin and weaken the experience which is why the tapering off period just prior to taking it.
I'm doing my homework. And am looking forward to doing it again with a different agenda in mind. I'll make a post afterwards and tell you what I find.
And again, don't do what I'm doing for anyone reading this with half a mind try. Do as I say, not as I do. This is that explorer in me...part of that burning curiosity. It is who I am, at my core.
https://www.ucsf.edu/news/2022/04/422606/psilocybin-rewires-brain-people...
Another Thought
Submitted by J on
Another, by accident, coincidence. Music and nature have a big role to play.
This I'd more, just filling in details of my story involving Mushrooms. Because the effect lasts up to 8 hours with the most intense part lasting 4 or 5. In high school, there weren't many options to get away from the house for that long without being discovered. I basically had three options: camping, music concerts ( including waiting in line for hours ) and skiing. Those all involved being away from home that long so you could be somewhat normal when I came home. This established a pattern of being out in nature and music...sometimes both.
Reading up on the use for therapy...they advise music and nature to be part of the experience.
I guess sometimes, necessity is the mother of invention? Quite by accident music ( first ), and nature ( second or both ) became part of my basic MO.
Ego Death vs Therapeutic Dose
Submitted by J on
Because this entire conversation about mushrooms is now becoming mainstream, ( versus 30 years ago when I had my ego Death experience- heroic dose ) the information out there outlines specific doses to achieve a specific level of experience. I'm not really interested in doing the heroic dose route or trying to recreate it per se, I'm more interested in finding a one time dose that will give me a lasting beneficial effect.
John Hopkins research center has arrived at between 20mg -30mg of active agent or 3.5grams of dried mushrooms. I've got 3grams (dried ) to work with which is towards the upper 30mg range.
By the description, this is what I'm expecting:
"An eighth-ounce, or 3.5 grams of dried mushrooms, will have around 35 mg psilocybin content. Ready or not, you’re going to have a full-blown psychedelic experience that will include heavy perceptual and cognitive distortions. You may or may not be able to hold a conversation or accurately perceive your surroundings, especially at the peaks, which often come in waves. No two trips are exactly alike, but you’re pretty much guaranteed to look back on this as a stand-out experience of your life. It is not advisable to take a high dose unless you have a safe, supervised setting to take them in."
This falls in line with the most memorable times I've used then with the greatest overall effect. The only time larger in effect was the one time heroic dose of LSD. That was off the charts with full blown ego dissolution and out of body experience. Apparently by the clinical trials, this is not necessary which I'm glad. I'm really not excited about having to go that far to get any therapeutic value. The 3grams appears to be right in line with what I remember being the "high end" of what I've done in the past.
According to John's Hopkins research, this is the range of where they're getting good results as well so I'm using their results for my baseline.
Anyway, I thought I take anyone interested along with my experiment. I've also found that lower doses were more of a "fun" recreational experience but without the profound results.
Also, important to note: I've done this level on a number of times before with good results based on my past so this won't be anything completely new to me. FYI
"How do the doses and descriptions above compare to what has been observed in controlled, human clinical trials? In some of the pioneering psilocybin studies done at Johns Hopkins University, controlled doses of psilocybin were administered to patients. The studies gave people a range of psilocybin doses and generally found that high doses often induced a “mystical-type experience,” the formal research definition for what we might call a “full-blown psychedelic experience.” The doses given to induce such effects were in the 20-30 mg range for psilocybin, or between the medium and high doses in the dosing guide above. In other words, a full eighth-ounce, or 3.5 grams, of dried P. cubensis is likely to contain more psilocybin than the doses given to reliably induce mystical-type experiences in controlled human studies."
J
PS I always remembered the "waves" part. When that happens....I've described it like riding a surf board....holding on tight and riding that wave all the way into the beach! ( white knuckles ) That's how I could tell in the past , if I'd crossed over into that upper end experience. This is also where, I can imagine, someone with limited experience might get a little freaked out ! Lol People with control issues might find this unpleasant! Lol
Ego Death
Submitted by J on
Just adding the description here for comparison:
"The late Terrence McKenna famously described the “heroic dose,” his preferred way of diving into the full depth of the mushroom experience: Five dried grams of mushrooms in silent darkness. At 1% psilocybin content, five grams will contain about 50 mg of psilocybin. At this dose, there’s not much you can do but lay down somewhere comfortable and let the experience wash over you. “You” won’t really be there once it hits. It will most likely be overwhelming, perhaps bizarre, and indescribable. Taking a dose this large is rare. Few people, even experienced psychonauts, ever take this much. It is not advisable to take even close to this dose without significant experience and an ultra-safe, comfortable setting."
""YOU" won't really be there".... You can say that again! Lol
I Realized Something...
Submitted by J on
As I read this past description in terms of ego Death. This must sound like the worst thing ever? From the description, and even the notion of ego death sounds like a horrible proposition when in fact, it was the most enlightening moment of that entire experience for me.
When the "you" is gone, and the your ego dissolves into everything, everywhere....you become part of the whole, in the big picture...and realize you are an intragal part of the universe. ( seriously ) You are no longer you, but part of everyone.
And when that happens..all you feel is Love. It's God's love...not the romantic type or any other kind you can imagine. And feel connected to everyone and feel like you are not alone.
This was the bliss and extacy moment for sure. So, if that sounds aweful by the description, it was actually the best and most profound moment of the journey. It was the "thing", that made it all worthwhile. As I remember it. Pretty hard to forget.
Could Psilocybin be an RSD Treatment?
Submitted by J on
"Abstract. The main psychedelic component of magic mushrooms is psilocybin, which shows promise as a treatment for depression and other mental disorders. Psychedelic effects are believed to emerge through stimulation of serotonin 2A receptors (5-HT2ARs) by psilocybin's active metabolite, psilocin."
"Adrenergic reuptake inhibitor, a type of drug blocking the norepinephrine transporter
This includes antidepressants and drugs against ADHD."
"What is rejection sensitive dysphoria (RSD)?
While rejection is something people usually don’t like, the negative feelings that come with RSD are stronger and can be harder to manage or both. People with RSD are also more likely to interpret vague interactions as rejection and may find it difficult to control their reactions.
What’s the difference between rejection sensitivity and rejection sensitive dysphoria?
RSD and rejection sensitivity are closely linked, but there are subtle differences. To understand the differences, it helps to first know about an issue known as emotional dysregulation.
The human brain has an elaborate network of connections between its different areas. Those areas have different jobs, with some areas managing memories, emotions, input from your senses, etc. As you get older, your brain learns to regulate those signals, keeping them at manageable levels. This is much like the volume control on a TV when it keeps the sound at levels you find comfortable.
Emotional dysregulation happens when your brain can’t properly regulate the signals related to your emotions. Without that ability to manage them, it’s as if the TV volume control is stuck at a disruptively or painfully high level. In effect, emotional dysregulation is when your emotions are too loud for you to manage, causing feelings of being overwhelmed, uncomfortable or even in pain.
Emotional dysregulation can happen with many conditions, especially those affecting your brain’s structure or how it processes information. It happens commonly with personality disorders, mood disorders and more.
Emotional dysregulation and rejection sensitivity
Emotional dysregulation happens with both rejection sensitivity and RSD. Dysphoria doesn’t. People with rejection sensitivity can do one or more of the following:
Feel severe anxiety or other negative emotions before an anticipated rejection.
Have trouble seeing nonpositive interactions (such as neutral or vague reactions) as anything but rejection and react accordingly.
Overreact to feelings of rejection, leading to behavior that reflects negative emotions like anger, rage, extreme sadness, severe anxiety, etc.
While all of those are also possible with RSD, there’s one more component: People with RSD describe feeling an intense — if not overwhelming — level of emotional pain.
What are the symptoms of rejection sensitive dysphoria?
As mentioned, the key symptom of RSD is intense emotional pain. That pain usually has to be triggered by rejection or disapproval. However, people with RSD often have difficulty describing what it feels like because it’s so intense and unlike most other forms of pain (emotional or otherwise).
People with RSD often show the following traits and behaviors:
It’s very easy for them to feel embarrassed or self-conscious.
They show signs of low self-esteem and trouble believing in themselves.
They have trouble containing emotions when they feel rejected. This is often noticeable in children and teenagers with this condition. Some may react with sudden shows of anger or rage, while others may burst into tears.
Instead of losing control of their emotions outwardly, some people with RSD may turn their feelings inward. This can look like a snap onset of severe depression, and sometimes, it’s mistaken for sudden emotional shifts that can happen with bipolar disorder or borderline personality disorder.
They’re often “people pleasers” and become intensely focused on avoiding the disapproval of others.
They may avoid starting projects, tasks or goals where there’s a chance of failure.
They compensate for their fear of failure or rejection by going all-out or striving for perfectionism. However, the downside of this is that they often experience intense anxiety and may not easily make self-care or downtime a priority.
There’s limited available research on exactly who experiences RSD and how common it is. But the condition seems to happen most often in people with ADHD. Experts have also linked it to other personality and mood disorders, but more research is necessary regarding who experiences this issue and how common it is.
Experts aren’t sure exactly why RSD happens. But they suspect it involves issues with the structure of your brain and that it happens for similar reasons as ADHD.
Researchers do know that social rejection — even when it’s vague or uncertain — causes similar brain activity to pain. They also know that the brain of someone with ADHD doesn’t regulate internal communication the same way as the brain of someone without ADHD. The brain areas that filter and regulate signals aren’t as active. This means there’s less of a filter on brain activity.
This difference in regulating internal communication is why people with ADHD commonly have trouble processing information from their senses. It also makes them prone to feeling overwhelmed by loud noises, bright lights or sudden changes in what’s happening around them. The brain of someone with ADHD might not be able to regulate pain-like activity, which would explain why rejection is so much more troubling and painful to someone with RSD.
Genetic connections
ADHD is a condition that has a genetic component, which means it commonly runs in families. Likewise, RSD — which has strong links to ADHD — is also more likely to have a genetic link.
RSD isn’t an officially recognized medical condition. It’s also a condition for which there’s limited scientific research available. As a result, healthcare providers may not know much about it or have a great deal of experience with it.
How is rejection sensitive dysphoria treated, and is there a cure?
While there’s much that experts don’t know about RSD, there are still ways that experts can treat it. The treatment approaches can also take different forms, and it’s common to use multiple treatment approaches at the same time.
Medications
Medications are the main way to treat RSD. The drugs in question typically treat ADHD and related conditions. That’s because treating these conditions affects the same brain areas responsible for RSD symptoms, so treating one condition affects both. Other conditions have very similar effects on the same brain areas as RSD, and treatments for those conditions can often help.
Because RSD isn’t an officially recognized medical condition, there aren’t any medications specifically approved to treat it. Instead, healthcare providers use a practice known as “off-label prescribing.”
Advertisement
Off-label prescribing means a healthcare provider prescribes a medication for conditions other than the ones they’re specifically approved to treat. This kind of prescribing is legal, medically acceptable and justified when evidence shows a medication has a low risk of causing harmful side effects and is effective for off-label use.
"The following medication types can treat RSD:
((((Alpha-2 receptor agonists ))))
This type of medication activates a specific type of chemical receptor found on neurons (brain cells) in specific brain areas. Medications that activate those receptors, such as clonidine and guanfacine, make those areas more active. Activating those brain areas makes it easier for your brain to regulate (((( internal communication ))))) reducing the effect of RSD."
I
'm just cutting and pasting a bunch of articles together, only to say, that it mentioned these work on the part of the brain dealing with "fight and flight".
Still doing homework on RSD and I relialized one thing: I'm predominantly a "flight animal" first before "fight". I also tend to internalized emotions before I externalize....as it mentions this in several articles I read about RSD. The symptoms come in two forns: internalize and external....with the internalize emotions or feelings come primarily in the form of: deep sadness, anxiety and depression. Those are exactly the ones that are most problematic for me. I suffer from those much more that any chronic anger or anger in general while not saying, I don't react with anger at times. In the order of progression for me, it goes as follows: sadness, anxiety, anger, depression. Freeze, Fawning, flight first...and then fight. Fawning = people pleasing if I've connected those correctly.
Anyway, everything says they don't fully understand it yet and the "experts" need more research.
I'm no expert, but I have my own thoughts on this based on results.
Question: could it be, that the same areas of the brain that are thought to deal with depression are the same as RSD? Could the anger involved be associated with the "fight" response?
Could this all be related somehow including the positive effects of Psilocybin?
My plan is for November 16th. I'll be trying to pay attention to as much of this as I can...before and after....now including RSD into the mix.