I'm feeling a lot of grief right now. My husband, who has diagnoses of ADHD, anxiety, and depression, did something that exposed me to legal liability. If the injured party chooses to pursue me, I could end up paying thousands of dollars in damages and might be subject to discipline by my state's lawyer regulatory agency. Because I have no way of preventing my husband from engaging in further behavior of this type (or other illegal or negligent acts), the only way I have to protect myself and my livelihood is to get a divorce and forbid my husband from being in our house. My husband and I have had a lot of problems over the years, but I've never before felt that total physical and legal separation was required. Now I do. Does anyone have ideas for how I can pull myself out of the pit of sadness I'm in now?
Grief
Submitted by PoisonIvy on 04/08/2014.
:(
Submitted by crossingfingers... on
I am so sorry to hear this :(
I don't have much to say other than now you will have more control over your life being better, and over focusing on what you need to be happy. Unfortunately it sounds like his behavior has crossed a major line. The blessing in disguise might be that legal issues are a concrete boundary where you can say to him "this is affecting my life in an unacceptable way," and it kind of doesn't give him an opportunity to equate how his behavior affects you with how he feels about himself. In other words, this is an objective boundary that may create space for your life to improve over time without you feeling like you have to keep making concessions to his behavior because he takes everything personally (or feels overly responsible for your feelings and then blames you). I don't know if that's exactly how things are in your marriage of course, but I have read many of your posts and my sense is that your feelings face a lot of opposition or debate. You deserve better than to have your life be so negatively impacted by his actions. Maybe there is a happier you in the future waiting for your present self to arrive.
Rosered
Submitted by jennalemon on
I am sorry you are in this very difficult situation. I know you will get through it. I know it is tough. I hope you make time for yourself to enjoy things and live your life aside from this burden your husband and handed you.
I am sorry Rosered
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
My suggestion is to give yourself permission to sit it with the reality of it all for a while, and cry a river. I know so very well the sheer frustration of trying to discern what to do with issues and how to respond to them. Can't stuff them and pretend they are not real.
I know there are several of us here on this forum that have cried so many tears, it is probably a choice you would rather not make.
I hope all turns out well...
Submitted by c ur self on
This is the one thing I can't help thinking about...I often feel so exposed by my wife's seemingly lack of awareness (or unconcern?)about things pertaining to Debt, unsafe driving and life style pursuits, among other things...I will pray for you rosered...some times we have to make those tough decisions, we really never want to face.