I have recently made the decision to leave my ADHD Husband because I'm so overwhelmed and exhausted after nearly 4 years together (2 1/2 married). From the very beginning I never felt like we had a true partnership or a courtship. We rushed into moving in together and we rushed into marriage which hurt our relationship a lot. My Husband was only diagnosed with ADHD about 3 months ago, but the problems caused by his symptoms have been present for our entire relationship. Despite his being on Adderall and going to therapy, his negative symptoms haven't been improving like they need to in order for me to feel better. I don't feel as though anything is ever going to change and I can't accept living this way so I believe this is the best decision for me. Fortunately, we don't have any children so we will just need to focus on splitting all of our assets/possessions. I struggle with a lot of negative feelings brought on by severe depression and anxiety though. I fear that after I leave my Husband my life will only become worse. I haven't been able to find an apartment in the area that I will be able to afford on my income yet so I am going to have to move in with my Mother for a short period of time which I'm not looking forward to. I'm going to have a difficult time getting around and moving because I don't drive at all. I will likely have to hire someone to help me. I am worried that I will feel completely alone with no support at all and just sink into an even worse depression because I don't really have any close friends or family who acts like they care about me. I would like to meet new people, but I have no idea how to go about doing that since I have social anxiety. I am worried about my Husband forgetting to pay bills when he is on his own and if that happens I know it will fall on me since we're still married. We have a savings which will provide enough money to pay off my Husband's car, but if we use that money to pay it off then my Husband will owe me money. I am afraid I won't be able to trust him to pay the money back to me. I am really tired of not focusing on myself anymore and I really hope this separation will change that. I do think we should eventually get divorced, but I want to wait to see how the separation goes for a period of time before deciding that. Are there any separated or divorced people here who can give me advice on how to transition into living separate lives?
Hi , I really feel your pain
Submitted by Whip lash on
Hi , I really feel your pain and my advice to you is if you do not love your husband then you should leave I struggle to cope with my adhd husband but I love him dearly and can cope with my life with him. Sounds to me like you cannot cope and there is no shame in that you need to spend time on your own get your head clear and them decide what you want as there is no kids involved your should look after your own mental health first then you will be able to make a clear decision. Your very brave and I wish you all the best and hope you make the right choice