He is obsessed with movies and his fantasy life and resents me and our daughter for getting in the way of his enjoyment and freedom. He wanted to go see X Men on Friday and hey, I would like to see it actually (he knows I've seen all the other ones) but he didn't ask if I wanted to or try to make a "date" or anything, he just asked hey would you mind if *I* go see the new X Men and I said well it is late already and I wasn't too keen on that at the time. Plus I mean, hey I want to see it as well so like thanks for thinking of me, right?

So he MOPES the rest of the day and all yesterday. Today we have a huge argument because he wants to run back to mommy and daddy in Canada and not adjust here which will cost me $2000 of my own money not his TYVM anyway since he doesn't have any money at all to his name...so he's being a PITA to the extreme, arguing at EVERY turn, saying how everything is "on me" i.e. my fault. If X happens, it's "on me" and so on. Nevermind all the crap he's done that is "on him" and he just says, "Oh well, I have no way of fixing that sooooo." It's a "suck to be you, honey" sort of thing all the time. So he gets all pissy and threatens to leave and WALK back to Canada. He starts packing and everything (probably the tenth time he's done that.) We scream at each other some more and he screams at my mom when she tells him not to scream and says he can scream anytime he wants! (nyah!) Then he gets all in a dither and says he's going out to "cool off."

He doesn't answer MY PHONE which I so generously loaned him in case of an emergency (because he didn't pay his and it doesn't work anymore of course). And even in a huge fight I have to think of safety first. Then he doesn't bother answering for hours and I'm like he's at that movie. So I finally call him again and he's on his way home and I'm all I know where you were and he says yeah.

So really to me it's like he's saying that I have to talk nice to him in a nice sweet tone and bolster his ego and play nicey nicey and TRUST HIM and he just did all of this as an excuse to go to that movie. And to me you know, answer the phone because you don't know if there's an emergency. So that's completely him choosing X Men over me and his child because he didn't even have the decency to make sure he was within reach.

Why am I even with him? He says I need him but I pretty much can't stand his blame game on everyone his abuse and obsession with fantasy. He wants to be a bachelor, and that's all. He will never be a husband or father. EVER. Why kid myself? I better take my credit and debit cards away from him.

And he never locks the DOOR, either.

At least I have xanax. He gets to just have fun like a teenager and go to movies and I have to worry about housing, medical, money, my job (he doesn't work) and everything else. NICE!! SO VERY NICE! I FEEL SO CHERISHED!