Another question here about sleep patterns. It's been done in this forum before, but it's been a while. I noticed a couple of other posts in another area about how some ADHD'ers sleep schedules are difficult for us non's, as well as body twitching, severe snoring, separate sleep rooms, tearing up the bed covers, and coming to bed at 3:00 AM.
Is this also a part of the brain disfunction? or is this a learned thing? My husband used to snore so bad, I couldn't hardly get any sleep. (for years) He had nasal surgery and wore a C-pap machine, but doesn't anymore. Snores sometimes now, but not as much. He tosses and turns to where he really tears up the bed covers, and even rips off the BOTTOM sheet off the bed. (he blames that on bad sheets, but my side doesn't do it) lol
The thing that distresses me the most is that he most always has come to bed at 3 AM. But, NOT QUIETLY. He comes in the room, turns on the light, bangs around for a bit, talks, fiddles around, WAKES ME UP, and then HE wants me to be quiet so he can "get to sleep". FRUSTRATING!!!!!!. It's been so long now, that even if he goes to bed early, I just automatically WAKE UP out of a sound sleep at 3 AM, every single night. I HATE THAT.
But, my main question is.......Is this normal for most ADHD'ers? Has anyone else worked anything out as far as having their ADHD partner be a little understanding towards their "sleeping" partner? and not try to wake them up?
Yes!
Submitted by c ur self on
It's the norm here to dede...My wife is up and down, noisy, tear's the bed up, cover's up with thick winter covers in the summer, then turns t-stat way down, freezes me. Up until 2 or 3 in front of the TV or on Facebook...Can't fall a sleep, and can't wake up...It's all her normal...Now instead of being frustrated I have learned to adapt...I buy those little purple foam earplugs from Walmart...Roll them up, and slide them in my ear:) they work wonders...Also, I get me a blanket to...People who live this way has a normal life style that is extremely intrusive. So, for us to have the acceptance we need, we have to be smart enough to adapt...
The boundaries I had to set was, no i-phone face booking in bed when I'm sleeping or trying to go to sleep....And no TV in the bedroom, she would leave it on all night...thus waking me up again and again...
I suggest anyone dealing with this at night to just turn your ringer wide open on your phone and set it on your bedside table; you can still hear it with earplugs....They aren't that hard to get us to....The quiet will bring some peace back to your down time....Blessings!
I'm the non-ADD spouse and
Submitted by copingSAH on
I'm the non-ADD spouse and apparently I'm guilty of snoring like a jackhammer and scooting the sheets onto my side with my "fat ass" as my spouse describes it. But maybe it is my way of relieving stress :) Spouse comes in and out of bedroom quietly enough but the crazy noises coming from the bathroom a few feet away is another story, it's like he's morphing into the Hulk in there
What is hilariously irksome is that when he watches TV on the couch, he'll fall asleep to the TV blaring all night long so all of us have to shut our bedroom doors. Or he'll vacumm at 2AM. But if it's my turn to watch TV, I have it at the lowest volume not to disturb him in bed (I even have closed captioning on for this reason), I still get complaints "Are you sure you're watching, when are you going to turn that off?" and he complains he can't sleep, even when I'm reading with a little booklite in bed. What !!
Relieving Stress
Submitted by Standing on
"But maybe it is my way of relieving stress :)"
This made me grin :) I have a "Princess and the Pea" situation here, as well. Yowza.
"What is hilariously irksome
Submitted by dedelight4 on
"What is hilariously irksome is that when he watches TV on the couch, he'll fall asleep to the TV blaring all night long so all of us have to shut our bedroom doors. Or he'll vacumm at 2AM. But if it's my turn to watch TV, I have it at the lowest volume not to disturb him in bed (I even have closed captioning on for this reason), I still get complaints "Are you sure you're watching, when are you going to turn that off?" and he complains he can't sleep, even when I'm reading with a little booklite in bed. What !!
WOW. This is exactly the same thing I get. I've posted about it before. My husband will fall asleep in bed with the television BLARING loud, sound asleep and snoring, and will do this for hours, but when I get to bed and want to watch TV, he makes me turn it down to nothing. I use closed captioning too, except now the CC doesn't work, so I have to have it just BARELY audible. And he STILL complains about it. Now, he's making me turn it off, because he says the light is keeping him awake. HE NEVER STAYS AWAKE, he sleeps with earplugs in listening to a tablet all night long and/or roku. Can't stand it.
Thank you all for posting.
My ADD husband has that same
Submitted by Cecily on
My ADD husband has that same sleeping pattern. There have been nights when he never sleeps a wink. It's not something I can just "adjust" to because the kids and I suffer the consequences which is his exhaustion and overwhelming need to take a nap when he comes home from work (when he should be taking care of his young family) and highly increased irritability. Over the years he has gotten better though.... It got so bad that he finally voluntarily had me set up parental controls on the computer and TV to kick him off at a certain time at night. He has gotten many more nights of sleep since then.
Is this request for help with discipline common with others?
Submitted by c ur self on
( It got so bad that he finally voluntarily had me set up parental controls on the computer and TV to kick him off at a certain time at night. He has gotten many more nights of sleep since then.)
Cecily this statement caught my attention. Because I am wondering just how many posters deal with this kind of attitude? My wife does this same thing about different subjects...For example, she has asked me to throw things away, or she sets me up to throw things away, by putting empty bottles on the table, counter, or back in the Frig with one tiny sip left in it...If she is struggling w/ eating habits, junking ( which she does) she asks me to hide the dark chocolate from her. It's like she has no will power about much of anything, she just can't seem to discipline herself. It effects almost everything...Time management etc...Well I better stop:)...But, I keep finding it so amazing how similar the stated behaviors are in our relationships....
Also coping you had me lol...
It's like she has no will power about much of anything, she just
Submitted by Standing on
can't seem to discipline herself."
Same here. He does not express any awareness of a need to self discipline, either, so - no, my husband does not ask for my help in this. Months ago, I made some gentle remarks about the multiple desserts he was consuming, one after another. He was behaving like he did not remember he'd already had 3 that day. This seemed more to me like amnesia than add, it was so striking. It was the desserts fault, of course. They were making him want them. So - months later, in 1 of his attempts to make me feel like some kind of nut, he recalls the incident in terms of my taking notes about his eating habits and harassing him inappropriately. "I don't talk to you about YOUR eating habits, he says. But i have not needed to buy larger clothes to fit.
He seems to have no capability for self observation, no realistic self image. He eats like an animal, too. As though he can't shovel it in quickly enough. The end of each month is nightmarish. I believe it is because he runs out of adderall a week early and so chaos reigns. The one thing that actually improves at this point is the twitching and flopping in bed, but the benefit is lost on me because the torment has gone on all day long.
...and me
Submitted by Tired-to-my-bones on
Hi dedelight4
My husband falls asleep when watching his favourite programmes, but wakes up when I change channels. He snores. But then so do I - waking myself up!! I go to bed at 10pm. He has a nervous grunt which increases when under stress. He comes up anytime from midnight through to the early hours. I bought him a headlamp torch from the camping shop so that he could read in bed. He is nowhere near as bad as he was when younger. He no longer switches on the light and crashes around. I gave up years ago trying to explain that going to bed together might be a good way to connect (no pun intended). I actually prefer being on my own now for a while, to read, think, plan the day ahead .....and certainly sleep better when he's away. When I had chronic back pain I took myself into the spare room and slept the sleep of angels. I would sleep there full time if I could but husband misses me beside him. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh the irony.