I am beyond my limit of hearing H say that he really wants to do such and such and then never hear about it again. I heard again and again about this firepit area he wanted to do. Well yes he finally did get around to doing it and we have sat out there a total of 2 times since he completed it back in August.
He wanted a garden so badly. We tilled an area and planted seeds in the spring but that is about as far as he wanted to take it. He has no interest in harvesting the food or eating it, yet he insisted we put in a fall crop. We planted like 5 different things and only the squash came up but it has been so wet that it is getting moldy because he has no desire to go out and harvest it.
I hear again and again about how he really wants to put in a koi pond and then put up big posts around the firepit and then attach hammocks. Its ridiculous! The guy cant even go get a pumpkin for Halloween (which he kept saying he really wanted to carve) but he is going to do all this really big stuff.
The guest bedroom door has been off for 3 months now because the new door we got (that I stained and he insisted be lacquered as well to increase the value of the house if we ever sell it) apparently is just a touch too large to fit and he says it needs to be sanded down. Why it does not fit is beyond me because its a standard 80 inch door. So much for ever getting all the other 6 doors in the house stained and lacquered to match because if one door is going to take 6 months to get up, I dont even want to try the others. So we will have one door TOTALLY different from all the others.
Still waiting on, what I have heard, is supposedly a very easy outside shed to be built for the garden tools. Well the tools are getting all rusted sitting outside in the rain but he thinks November will be a good month to get that built. Oh yeah I bet. Now that the persistent rain has started I am sure this is a FANTASTIC month to do that!
The area he decided almost a year ago now that would be fantastic as a butcher block so he tore off the backsplash and says he is going to put lighting up above it. Well we have been this long with a torn off backsplash and just ripped cardboard showing and there is not a hint of a light fixture being thought of.
We were going to put up a ceiling fan in our room last summer. We bought one and he tried to install it, but it sat too low. He decided instead that it would be good for the kitchen and we would get a different one for the bedroom. Well the original one is still sitting in its box in our bedroom and he has taken to piling some of his clothes on it. If I knew he had no plans of ever putting it up I sure would have liked to take it back and get a refund!
Oh and this deck he insists on building off the front porch. He said it would be no problem to do that on his own this year. Now he says hell get to that next year. Riiiiiiiiight.
His friend died a few weeks ago and he just had to have one of his motorcycles but of course since he barely gets by check to check he asked me to buy it for him. Sure why not. I have bought you so many other things you just had to have why not a $2400 bike! I made a fuss about it and he said that it is not just a bike, that it is his friends and it would mean so much to him. Great. One more bike sitting in the garage that probably will not be raced. He had to have this $23,000 race bike 2 1/2 years ago because it would be so bad ass on the track and he promised me that if I got the loan (because he had bad credit) that he would make every single monthly payment on it. I would say that I have paid about 90% of those payments. Oh yeah and it has been raced once in 2 years and other than that has sat in our garage. But it is an awesome bike and he just CANNOT get rid of it!
Then on Sunday he went down to help one of the kids of this guy who died to get another bike street ready. While there he saw a big generator sitting in the garage and asked what the story was on that. The kid said he could name his price and have it. H said he didnt have the money the but the kid said to just take it and pay for it when he can. So he comes home with this gigantic generator (we already have a smaller one). I assumed it was GIVEN to him but then he says he owes them $1200 for it but look how AWESOME it is! It can run our house if we ever lose power. We have never once lost power. He says he will just paypal the guy $200 a payday until it is paid off. You cannot even give me the needed amount per paycheck for bills (he has been giving me $300 a check when I need at least $500 a check) but you think you can afford an extra $200 a check to pay for this gigantic generator that I am guessing we will never use? Oh but he tells me how can he pass up on such a great deal! He says these would run around $3000. And he keeps bringing up that he is helping out the kids by buying it so they have money. YOU dont have any money but you just HAVE to help these poor kids out? They are not minors or orphans. Four kids and they are between the ages of 26 and 34! Two of them are absolute train wrecks. He acts like he was this guys best friend and he has to be the one to look out for the kids. One of the kids sells anything he can for gambling money!
Now we are supposedly waiting on his mom to drive from Iowa to Washington this weekend to deliver two kittens to us. I finally gave into one kitten after hearing about it for months but then he decides we need to have 2 to help his mom out because she is getting overrun by these stray cats. We already have 2 cats and I really dont want anymore so giving into 1 was a huge deal. Oh but we HAVE to take 2 to help her out. It is not my fault that this woman is a hoarder. Her house is packed to the gills with stuff. There is trash on her floor. She has like 30 cats apparently (most outdoor) 4 dogs and god knows how many chickens and goats. This woman cannot stop getting things. They have no money but manage to feed all of these animals and get them fixed. And his mom is just as bad as H in saying she will do something and then never following through with it so it would not surprise me if she does not come. It would be a relief!
Mapper, why did you say yes
Submitted by PoisonIvy on
Mapper, why did you say yes when your husband asked you to buy the bike?
Because I am a sap and I
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Because I am a sap and I always give in to what he wants. I mean he literally looked at me sideways when I didn't give him an immediate yes. Because this isn't JUST a bike, it is his dead friend's bike and how awful would it be if he didn't have it to remember his friend by. That is exactly how he sees it. He tells me he should then be able to sell his other bike for the same amount and give that money to me, but he is not making an effort to sell that. He says he won't sell it to just anyone and that it needs to go to someone who will take good care of it. He has had one guy he knows interested in it and even that guy doesn't want to buy it and rather trade it for a guitar! A GUITAR!!!
"Because I am a sap and I
Submitted by Standing on
"Because I am a sap and I always give in to what he wants"
You don't sound like a sap to me, Mapper.
Definition from urban dictionary: "A fool; someone who is prone to being taken advantage of, or who has been taken advantage of, usually in a situation that is easily perceived by others as foolhardy."
You're not really being taken advantage of or caught off guard, are you? I mean, you pretty much know exactly what to expect from your spouse, who behaves the same way time after time. It's not sappy to be afraid to draw boundaries and say, No. It's a predictable, fearful response. You and your husband have practiced this dance for ages and you both know exactly what to expect from each other.
It's tough being the first one to try to grow out of old habits. I know, I still have a very difficult time saying or doing anything that I know my spouse will not like. Took me 10 years for the pain of sweeping it all under the rug to surpass my fear of conflict. I can tell you that it's worth it, though. Spending your life trying to please others and trying to fill a bucket with a giant hole in it is very unfulfilling.
His mom is coming this
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
His mom is coming this weekend and he finally got around to trying to put up the bedroom door again yesterday. Once again, for whatever reason, the door does not close because it is hitting somewhere that he cannot figure out. He has heavy boots on and tries kicking the bottom of the door to get it to align. On his third kick he kicks right into the door and now we have a small smashed in area at the bottom of the door! I just about lost it! The whole reason we are replacing this door is because he ended up putting a big crack in the other door when he put his arm out to brace it as his daughter was slamming it in his face. Oh my god! He made a big deal about how he could replace the door and how easy it would be and how we can do all the rest of them. Now he tells me he has no idea how to hang a door! Great. Now we have a door that 1) does not close 2) has a smashed in area at the bottom of it 3) looks totally different from all the other doors due to him HAVING to lacquer it.
Oh and the reason his mom is coming this weekend is to deliver us 2 kittens. I was against getting one much less two on top of the two we already have and was mad for days about it. He kept telling me his usual ''Oh it will be fine. Just chill out and relax''. I finally come around and yesterday am going on Amazon buying another litter pan, cat carrier, food bowls, flea medication and then he goes ''Oh you are funny. Id at least wait until they get here''. So you are upset because I do not want them and now you are making fun of me because I am too into wanting them! Well god knows you are not going to lift a finger to make sure they have what they need. Yes lets wait until they get here and then watch as they pee all over the house and then you decide that we should have another litter pan! These are just two more cats that I will have to look after and clean up after and make vet appts for. He has never once taken the other 2 cats to the vet for checkups and only takes them if they are sick.
And the thing is, his mom is
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
And the thing is, his mom is no different than him when it comes to thinking ahead. She was supposed to leave Wednesday morning and be here Friday night. Well she sends H a message late Wed afternoon saying that the brakes weren't right and they had to be fixed and she won't be leaving until Thursday morning now. Maybe you shouldn't have waited until the day you were leaving to see if the brakes were okay! So now she won't be here until Saturday night, if that. We have others who say they may want the other kittens but now if she isn't even coming until Saturday night they won't get a chance to come up and look at them and then she will probably leave by Tuesday and we'll be stuck with 5 kittens until the next weekend when they can come up and see them. OR maybe the car will break down halfway here and she won't get here until next week or something unforeseen will happen. Neither of them think ahead or think about how changing plans effects everybody else.
I'm sure I'll have a doozy of a tale to tell after this weekend!
Yup I called this one! Now
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Yup I called this one! Now his mom isn't going to be here until Sunday morning when she was supposed to be here by Friday night. Oh and NOW he wonders how we are going to deal with 5 kittens! NOW he wonders about if the feral kittens might have FIV! Now he thinks about "Oh crap we have two other cats we'll have to keep isolated, how will we do that?" He says "Well if she is getting here on Sunday then the other two people who MIGHT (key word MIGHT!) be interested in adopting the others wont' be able to come and look at them until the following weekend and we will have 7 cats in our house until then". Then he tells me "Well if we still have all 5 kittens after 4 weeks we are going to have to take them to the shelter. ARE YOU KIDDING????!!! No way in hell are we are keeping 5 kittens for 4 weeks! Oh and then he says we should make vet appts for all 5 of them, not just the 2 we are keeping. Really??!! And do you know how much an exam for 5 kittens, plus vaccines, plus medicines is going to cost??
This is turning into total chaos as I knew it would. Why didn't we just adopt an already fixed, vaccinated cat from the humane society for $125 rather than go through all this crap? Now he wants to give his mom $200 for driving out here and drop at least $300 on exams for 5 cats and then deal with wishy washy people who may or may not want the other kittens. Fricking ridiculous!!!