So after half a year I have spent seeing this person it has finally ended. I can say these have been 6 of the most awful months of my life. I have tried many times to rationalise my strong feelings for him and understand why I love him so much, but the truth is I don't really know. Paradoxically I have received very little in return. He always seems to go out of his way to remind me how expendable and unimportant I am to him... which has done "great" things to my already little self-esteem. Basically, after this time with him, my sense of self-worth is completely gone, I feel possibly more 'unwanted', unlikable and useless than I have ever felt in my entire life, my depression (from which unfortunately I suffer from time to time) has come back full blast to the point of triggering suicidal thoughts and, lastly, I have pretty much no trust left in people or in the fact I could ever find someone who will not eventually get tired of me and flush me down the toilet. I have never been more loving and affectionate to anyone else before and all I got back is hurt.
I am sorry if this offends the many ADHD sufferers on here; I understand it is something that you cannot help, but how many people must get hurt because of this?
Sorry for the rant, but I really feel like I need to get this out.