Submitted by debbie7730 on 03/10/2015.
How does one deal with an ADD spouse who does not show you any empathy. Thus, for example, when I tell him that I am developing a migraine, he does not respond because he is too busy checking his phone. Or I text him that I am not feeling well or had a bad day and he ignores it? I feel like he doesn't care and when I call him on it, he blames it on being busy or having ADD. I cannot stand not getting any emotional support from my husband.
Oh I get the same thing.
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
Oh I get the same thing. Whenever he's sick, or simply has a headache, it's the end of the world. He can't go to work for days or even move off the couch. My instinct is to do what I can to make him feel better. When I'm sick, and I mean 102 degree fever, nausea, headache, chills, I get from him "Oh you just don't want to go out tonight" or "You never did want to help with cleaning the garage". I'm never really sick!
This is common in my marriage also....
Submitted by c ur self on
Pondered this one many times...She will go out of her way at times for children, grandchildren, and friends...She can be thoughtful toward them (she gets the fruit of praise in return...Affirmation...Not a judgment, just a fact...I know she loves them) as much as her lifestyle allows....But, when it comes to responsibilities at home and my own needs...She seems to be oblivious to them...Until recently, she is getting better...
I think it's probably several reason for it....One is the way her mind works, and her refusal to create better coping mechanisms. Which the pressure from all the chaos causes her to live so self-absorbed, there is very little thought of my needs. Our home is her domain for soothing herself...The amount of mental energy it requires for her to do most tasks is probably twice or three times what I can do the same task...And she refuses to make her world smaller...her independent/self reliance is much of her pain....
I also think our life styles, our way of living, our blessings create a desire within them to be different...I think my wife deep down is envious...She will brag on my ability to accomplish tasks to others, and with the next breathe show jealousy and make accusations directed toward me (in private of course) about my motives...Wild crap, that is just her baggage that leaves me shaking my head...And, as I have come to peace with this, (expect it) it has helped me to not react to this insanity...And make it worse:)
My wife's love language as she likes to spell it out to me is Affirmation...Affirmation...Affirmation;) When people live such insecure lives, they have to protect it, in order to live with them selves...I think it is rare for a person to really want to see themselves. And the deeper into this denial trap we fall the more it produces judgment of others and blaming...These two things will always have to be there to support our refusal to be responsible as a spouse, employee, parent, friend. etc...
Those who live daily w/ this behavior must guard against letting it create coldness and indifference in us...God's love that has made us Son's and fellow heirs w/ Jesus is our wellness!