Just needed to put this out here today. I'm just tired. Tired of having to hold it all together 99.9% of the time. Tired of having a spouse that just can't allow me to be the weak one. There are times, as a human being, when I need to bitch, I need to be upset, I need to vent and let things go, but as the non-ADHD spouse, if I bitch and complain or vent too much, it just brings him further and further down. He turns into the angry one, the one who needs to vent, the one who is having the issues. Then of course, its my fault because I should know it would make "him" feel like crap, it would make "him" feel like a failure and why would I do that to "him" (as he ask). There are just times when I need to be the one who needs a minute, ya know? Normally, if I want to complain or vent as long as its a quick bad day here or there, its fine but let my bad day or my issues drag on more than a week and then the whole world turns upside down on me even more. I even told him to cut me some slack, to give me a minute to be the weak one. He says he understand but in the same breath its back to him. This is my life. I don't hate it, I love it. Its just one of those times where I want to run, hide, cry, quit and walk off but instead all I can do is try to make my story heard by him and try to not unload too much on my friends but mostly I walk around w/ a hole in my heart feeling sorry for myself for a few day and then I pull myself back up and go on with life. Just know, so many good days out number these bad days so its worth it, he's worth it, we're worth it!
I'm Tired
Submitted by Denise B on 07/15/2015.
I'm sorry
Submitted by Dipity on
I have been there....
Submitted by overwhelmedwife on
When I described this to my sister who is a therapist, she noted that my H expects me to be all-powerful, all-knowing, and to be stable 24/7.
I know what it's like to have to be "the rock".
There's very limited empathy given to us.
In fact, when H was in rehab, and H and his brother were secretly meeting with an atty to have me sent divorce papers, I let him know that our dog was likely not going to be living much longer and that I would be taking her to the vet that afternoon. With that info, H arranged for me to be served the divorce papers when I returned home with a dying dog. The dog died a few days later in my arms. So, here I was, having just been surprised with divorce papers, with a dying/dead dog, and while H was sad about losing our dog, he had no empathy about what I had been going thru. No empathy for having served me with divorce papers at that time.
And, yes, sometimes when I've wanted to "vent" about something outside our relationship, H will get all "emotional" and upset that it becomes about him! And, I can never vent about something HE has done wrong because then I am "making him feel bad, " and "being an a-hole" or "hurting his feelings."