Helping Impulsivity with the Yes/No Concept

It is so easy with ADHD to get side tracked with anything (work, chores etc..) when there is something fun or better to do.   A friend calls you and asks to go see the latest movie, check out a fun new bar, or even to meet for coffee.   Yes, we are there!

And so you go, and have a great time until you come back and realize, “Oops! I have no time to do the laundry tonight as promised, or clean the bathroom, or catch up on that project at work.”  Shame and disappointment begin to creep in.

What if there were a simple way to help you with impulsivity?

Welcome the Yes/No concept.

The Yes/No concept is this:  when you say Yes to something, you are always saying No to something else. ALWAYS.  So when you are about to say Yes, give yourself a minute to write down (or use your phone) what you are saying No to.  This pause to note what you are saying No to, will help you review possible consequences and, perhaps, deter the impulse decision to say Yes….if that’s in your best interest. 

Writing down what you're saying No to is so helpful because it takes a little bit of time and gives you a visual reminder of what’s being sacrificed in favor of the more immediate, impulsive choice.    

It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new opportunity or experience, but when you step back and really reflect, it can help you align your actions with your goals and commitments.

This strategy is a form of mindfulness that encourages self-awareness. We get to notice patterns and, over time, develop a deeper understanding of how our impulsive decisions impact our long-term plans. This way, you can make the decision to say Yes with more mindfulness, knowing the trade-offs.

Sometimes we need to say Yes because we are so stressed and meeting a friend is just what you need at that moment and this choice is fine and important too.  But a lot of the times, saying Yes just feeds into procrastination and can get us more jammed up and feeling bad about ourselves. 

Are you ready to try the Yes/No concept?

Anna Cuneo is a consultant with ADHD & Marriage Consulting who coaches individuals with ADHD.