For a non-ADHD partner, it is SO frustrating to watch your spouse struggle without result. You want her to do well. You can see HOW she might improve things. If you were doing them, it would be EASY. Yet nothing changes. How does a non-ADHD partner remain empathetic in this situation, rather than become angry?
Wondering if your marriage problems might be explained by the presence of ADHD? Here are six signs that you should look for:
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I've been thinking about power balances in relationship recently, and the role that validation plays in maintaining balance between partners. I want to propose that you consider doing an experiment to better understand the ways that you and your spouse validate each other (or don't). If you understand this better it will give you information about how to diminish conflict in your household.
I want to mention a book that is full of fascinating information related to our modern world and attention; a treatment for ADHD that most people haven't heard of; and 3 centers that offer the best, most comprehensive treatment for ADHD (because I designed them!).
I recently finished reading a book by William Ury, "Getting Past No: Negotiating in Difficult Situations". This is not a new book (originally published in 1991), but the subject matter is timeless, and is applicable in all aspects of life. Although my purpose when I purchased this book had nothing to do with ADHD, I was simultaneously amused and astonished at how much of the material that the author covers is exactly what I figured out in adressing issues with my ADHD spouse when we were having serious problems.
One of the major points my wife, Sue, and I stress in our new book, Married to Distraction, is the critical element of time. People take time for granted. But without time, there is no attention, and with attention there is no communication or empathy, and without communication and empathy there is no connection, and without a connection there is no play, and without play there is no fulfilling intimacy, romance, or love. We often say that play is the main action of love. But it all depends upon the previous steps, starting with time.
Our Live Couples' Seminar starts on Jan 22, 2025! Register HERE!
Looking for a little more support? Join one of our Non-ADHD Partner Support Groups. First support group starts on Jan 13, 2025. Find all our support group options HERE.
Turn your knowledge into actionable steps to improve your relationship. Join us on Jan 14, 2025 to learn about our new program, Intent 2 Action. Sign up NOW.
The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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