I was just reading a post in the forum area from a woman sharing her experiences with how much using the word AND has improved her life with her sons and husband. I thought it was an interesting and positive idea that more would like to read about, so I link to it here.
When one partner has ADHD, it can be tempting for the other partner to micromanage their behavior. However, it is much easier to look at your own behavior than to try and "fix" someone else.
If you have both a spouse and a child with ADD, there are some important differences between how you will naturally want to interact with them – differences that can really hurt your relationship with your spouse if you aren’t aware of them.
One of our readers commented on his experiences with vastly improving memory since his diagnosis of ADD, so I went to Dr. Hallowell to ask him – does ADD affect memory? His response was typical Hallowell in the very best sense:
I’ve been trying to think about whether to write about my mother’s recent death in this blog, and decided I would share some thoughts with my readers, whom I am coming to think of as long-distance friends. Death, of course, makes you think about what is important in life.
I am reading the posts of a woman who is about to get married to a man whom she adores who happens to have ADD. She is frustrated and confused by his inability to pay attention to wedding planning. This seems like a great time to elaborate upon what lack of focus means for people with ADD – and for their spouses.
People often ask me the question – how did you find the inspiration to turn your marriage, and your life, around? I think you know when “inspiration” hits – it’s like a light bulb going on. Something very central to who you are and how you think changes dramatically enough so that you find hope, balance, and a sense of self that rings true and provides drive from the inside out. Inspiration, whether it comes as an “aha moment” or as a steady set of choices about being a better person, can come from many sources, and I would like to suggest a few here.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read (link is external).
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