denial

To you, the distraction, trouble following through and general struggle suggest ADHD.  Plus, you have kids who’ve been diagnosed with ADHD.  Yet your partner refuses that he (or she) shows all the signs.  What do you do?

Anger often invades ADHD relationships, and couples may compound their pain and feed that anger by falling victim to these common myths.

Does the ADHD partner in your relationship become defensive, offer excuses and deny wrongdoing when legitimate grievances are raised? Here are some reasons why this could be happening and some tips on how they can be addressed.  

What happens when you are your partner reach an impasse about how to move forward in your relationship?  I got email today from a woman who wrote about how she and her husband are ‘stuck.’  She wants to work on repair, while he expects her to ‘act like nothing has happened in the last five years and move on’…including have sex together.

The video of Melissa with coach Jeff Copper is all about why getting past denial is so important when it comes to healing ADHD-impacted relationships.

Dr. Ned Hallowell argues that the current medical model of diagnosing and treating ADHD is destructive and needs to be replaced.  I agree.

I was giving a talk last night outside Boston and, once again, was asked “How do I get my spouse to stop denying that ADHD is a factor in our marriage?”  Here are some specific suggestions for anyone who is struggling with this.

My new book is about to be released, and it contains a significant section on overcoming “obstacle emotions” that keep you from improving your relationship (anger, fear, denial and hopelessness).  I’ve reprinted a very small portion of that section here for those who feel mired in anger.  This section is about the “myths” I sometimes hear people fall victim to about the “usefulness” or justification for their anger.

Six Dangerous Myths About Anger and ADHD

I’m spending quite a bit of time these days thinking about how to get men with ADHD to realize that their ADHD affects those around them more than they think.  At least two men I can think of who have ADHD say they wish someone (other than their wives) had “hit them upside the head” with information that would convince them that their ADHD was causing real problems.

Hello!  Ned Hallowell here. I  wanted to address a theme I see in MANY posts, and in my practice all the time.  It is the problem of the husband who refuses to entertain that he might have ADD, that he might be contributing to the marital problems, that he might benefit from a consultation with an expert.