Recent forum posts (all topics)

The following is something I just read that speaks to me and to many of our shared situations. Number 6 is especially something I am coming to realize as a truth and something I am working on.  I used to have self respect.  Since marriage I lost it in favor of my own decision to self-sacrifice.  Acceptance is the key, above all else in living with our own selves. Acceptance has been my lesson that I needed to learn. Acceptance is my path to long overdue maturity in my case. I can't and should not try to change someone else. I can only find my self back again. Jenna
 

Hi, first of all, I'm so happy to have found this forum. Your stories and advice come very handy to address my personal situation. I've been in a relationship with my partner who i believe has adhd. He very often gets upset about trivial things, starts to blame and bash about me, and keeps on pushing my buttons until i explode. Fights used to escalate with me screaming at him, with a period where i slapped him out of frustration. Luckily i stopped doing that but started to slap myself because he made me feel so shitty about myself.

Hi All,

Physically challenged vs mentally challenged 

How do you diffuse anger when it seems as though your partner is escalating on their own?

Picture this I am at a beautiful campground with my ADHD husband and we have just gone on a wonderful bicycle ride on a trail that leads to a lake. We are sitting by the lake and my husband suddenly blurts out in a very sarcastic manner "by the way thanks for mending my sweatshirt". I said oh I forgot, leave it out when we get home and I'll mend it. He says, don't bother I took it to get mended, and proceeded to lecture me on my forgetfulness and how I should not be since I am 13 years younger than him. (I am 56).

I've been very driven the past several months to find answers....There is such a huge myriad of issues in our marriage relationships, that it has been super difficult for me to find the bottom line....Tonight I was reading some of melissa's comments, and other posters, as far back as 10 years....And the thing I keep hearing from the non's is, all the negative effects they are encountering because of the realities in their relationship attempts...Most of the books and articles I've read related to this subject (adhd and marriage) for the most part, is addressing these same topics....

Sorry for my English, I am French speaker with an intermediate level in english.

Last March I dated a man with ADHD. Everything was fine for 3 months before he moved for his medical internship in July 2019. No news for 3 weeks then he returned at the end of July to finally disappear for good and started to isolate himself. During our last call phone he said to me: "there is nothing to do, we have to wait for it to pass" and he was happy for the texts I sent to him during these time.

Sorry for my English, I am French speaker with an intermediate level in english.

Last March I dated a man with ADHD. Everything was fine for 3 months before he moved for his medical internship in July 2019. No news for 3 weeks then he returned at the end of July to finally disappear for good and started to isolate himself. During our last call phone he said to me: "there is nothing to do, we have to wait for it to pass" and he was happy for the texts I sent to him during these time.

I am very new to this, so I'm going to keep this post short.  I was a widower and recently remarried a widow, and we are both retired (in our early 60s).  She has ADHD (self-diagnosed, untreated).  She told me she was ADHD, and I did a little research on the subject, but I sure didn't learn enough to know what I was really getting into.  Now I'm in it.  Wow.  I read of the struggles of others on this site (a site which I discovered not too long ago), and I've noticed that most (all?) the ADHD spouses are the husbands.  I wonder if this is unusual for the wife to be ADHD?