Recent forum posts (all topics)

Don't be cruel - to your self

I just saw this posted on Facebook.

The most important lesson I've learned over this past year is don't let anyone make you cruel. No matter how badly you want to give the world a taste of its own bitter medicine, it's never worth losing yourself.

I also know the wisdom of "You teach the world how to treat you."

ADHD spouses.Their parents and upbringing, how was it?

       I am interested in the upbringing of the ADHD people.( Mostly the ones of us whose spouses HAVE this.) How was your spouse brought up? And when did they (or not) know about the ADHD? We didn't find out my H had ADHD until he was around 50. And, later on we learned his mother was bipolar and had Alzheimer's. 

Why Do i Keep Making Decisions Without Thinking about Consequences?

I'm new to the community, but my marriage is in a really bad space because of a recurring pattern of making decisions and keeping them from my wife.  Two weeks ago, I started a new job and there was so much information coming at me, and I was excited to learn as much as I could so I quickly signed up for a $300 class without telling my wife.  She asked about it a few days later and I was defensive and shut down and turned away.  About a week ago, my Psychiatrist, NP agreed that I might need a small afternoon dose to get me through the afternoons because I was not having much success focusin

Effects of Poor Memory

I would love some guidance on this topic.  I totally get that my husband has poor working memory and short term memory.  Here is my dilemma...How do you do LIFE with someone who has poor memory when the consequences of that poor memory can effect you in some big ways.  I try not to involve my husband in things that need to be done that if he forgets would impact me too much.  Not only is that very challenging when you are supposed to share life with someone but it also puts a lot more stress and responsibility on me.  That aside, sometimes he does things completely out of my control and it

I feel sad about this

My younger daughter is arriving this evening from out of state.  Here is something that makes me feel very happy and grateful:  My sister is hosting her overnight so that I don't have to make the three-hour round trip to and from the airport in the dark.  Here is what makes me sad about the situation:  My ex-husband not only spends less time with our daughters than I do but also spends less time with them than do my sister (their aunt), my brothers (their uncles), and my sister's ex-husband.  In what universe is this kind of parent-child relationship okay?  I know, that was a rhetorical que

Several barriers to communication: ADHD, CAPD, language

Hi,  my husband and I have been married 27 years.  We have been in marriage counseling 5 times in those years with no real improvements.  He was finally diagnosed with ADD a few years ago but also shows signs of language issues and Central Auditory Processing Disorder.  Communication and conversation are very difficult and I have gotten to the point where unless we are talking about something he is interested or involved in, I avoid a lot of conversation with him.  There is a lot of misunderstanding, misinterpreting, forgetting, repeating, arguing and frustration.  I find it is much easier

A little consideration

A couple weeks ago, our couples therapist asked what would make me feel more loved.  I said consideration, with the example that I should not have had to do all of the leaf raking with my bad shoulders.  My wife responded that she would but I needed to remind her. I pointed out that she had offered to help, then said she would help after the she did something in the kitchen, then said that she thought (finally) taking down the Halloween decorations was all the help I needed, and did not rake any leaves.  I reminded her several times.

ADHD Therapist Best Practices

My ADHD husband and I have begun to see therapist who specializes in ADHD adults.  Prior to our first session, she had us each fill out one of the evaluation forms/tools that "test" for ADHD, my husbanding answering for himself and I answering from the perspective of a spouse.  My answers indicated my husband has ADHD; my husband's answers revealed no definite sign of ADHD.  The therapist told us during our first session that she could not make a definite diagnosis because the results did not jive.  She suggested that if we wanted to work on our relationship, she would be happy to do so wit

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