Recent forum posts (all topics)

NO ability to communicate....

I've read numerous old post this morning, while having my coffee....(It's something that is good for me, it helps me stay centered and living in a mind of acceptance, by reaffirming the reality of living with a partner who is incapable of seeing themselves)...When you go back and read these posts, there is one very common theme....We don't understand their thinking (or lack of it)...And no matter what problem's we are enduring (no help in the house, financial, withholding their bodies, angry outburst, sexual immorality, can't hold a job, or want work) the outcome of trying to get them to di

my teen boys idolize their ADHD dad and it's bothering me

Okay, I may come across as the most petty person on the planet and if so, feel free to call me out on this but it has bothered me for a long long time.  If you have read any of my posts here you know I have been married for 23 years to an unmedicated ADHD man and we have a 19 year old son and a 17 year old son.  DH has been unemployed many times, in fact his last three jobs only lasted three years each.  He has a high school diploma only and went into the Air Force where he only made it to Staff Sergeant.

Anger and no communication

So this just happened first thing in the morning.  I am 2 rooms away and I hear H say angrily, disgustedly, "My God."  I walked in the kitchen and asked what was the "My God" about?  He said, disgustedly, "WE HAVE 2 BREADS."  I had bought a loaf of bread and he had bought a loaf of bread.  Then he took the empty egg carton he had in his hand and threw it on the floor and angrily stomped on it to flatten it loudly and pointedly.

Why is it bad if I leave the marriage?

Forum: 

My husband was recently diagnosed with ADHD a few months ago. We have been married for 21 years and have a 17 yr old and a 5 yr old.  We have been in couples therapy for 3 years going in circles until finally figuring out he has ADHD. I think my therapist new all along but knew that if my husband didn’t come up with it on his own he would never have believed her and wud have ended our couples therapy immediately.  Only because all these years of struggle have been due to the fact that I am crazy, emotional, depressed, and unable to handle life.

Is this also part of ADHD? ...

hi ... I have a situation a home right now that I have no idea if it is ADHD or just some paranoid situation ...

My partner was not diagnosed as a child and by the age of 18 he was diagnosed as schizophrenic ... now it is a mix of schizophrenia with ADHD ... since I am here I notice that sometimes he gets super stress if he misplace some items like his mobile or his wallet ... I try to keep an eye on where he left his stuff and when comes and ask where they are, I let him know .. of course it works when I see it ... but not when I don't see where he place them. 

pouting

Oh good lord the pouting.  I feel like I am trapped in a really bad remake of Groundhog Day.  We just go over the same stuff over and over and over and DH wonders why I am counting the days until we can end this pathetic excuse for a marriage.  DH is overweight but has junk food, pop and candy hidden in his dresser drawers.  He gets headaches from an outdated glasses prescription and won't make an appointment to get new ones OR let me make it despite there being an eye place that takes our insurance, is open on Saturdays AND is blocks from our house.

I believe.

I believe that in some cases, it's not that the person with ADHD is incapable of changing. I believe they don't change because things work better for them the way they are. They are simply unwilling to change. Why would they want to change when they get their way most of the time and they have someone who is willing to do all the little things in a marriage / relationship that they themselves don't want to do?

Living Near Family?

Like many in this forum, I feel lonely and isolated much of the time due to my husband’s self-centeredness and unreliability.  He has indicated that he’s willing to work on his behaviors, but I know it will be a lifelong struggle for both of us (assuming we make it that long).  I am close with my family, but they live in another state.  I’m starting to think that the only way I’m going to make it in this marriage is to move close to my family.

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