The Pygmalion effect, or Rosenthal effect, is the phenomenon whereby higher expectations lead to an increase in performance. A corollary of the Pygmalion effect is the golem effect, in which low expectations lead to a decrease in performance;
One evening, an elderly Cherokee brave told his grandson about a battle that goes on inside people. He said, “My son, the battle is between ‘Two Wolves’ inside us all. One is evil. It is anger, envy jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego. The other is good. It is joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion, and faith.
I'm almost afraid to ask. This is my first time posting, I've lurked here and there, DH was diagnosed ADHD a couple of months ago, we go back to the Dr. next week to discuss treatment. I will be insisting on medication, and filling it 2 seconds after the appointment. If I don't see some change in him, I'm done, I can't do this anymore. Counseling won't work for him, he'll just tell the councilor to go F him/herself. So, my hopes are all on the medications. What are your experiences with them? Good and bad.
Thanks, Jeana
Has anyone else had this experience with their ADHD spouse? Things are going well right now...for a while now. But I just cannot relax into it. I am only about 85% invested because the other shoe is sure to drop at some point so I have to save a little bit of myself so I won't be totally leveled when the bottom drops out again. Right now DH is helping around the house a ton, being a great dad, keeping in touch with me when he travels, really all around good man.
"His tantrums are killing me!" This may seem dramatic but I suspect this group may understand. Im a newlywed of nearly 3 months. I knew something was off during our 2 years of dating. I racked my brain, I read, I researched... I called in his mother to help with some of the situations ( big mistake, but I still hold on to the fact that I had no other option at the time). The issues weren't completely clear. He was over his head with a failing business, a business that his family, including his brother ran together.
When the husband has Bipolar 2 & ADHD that has been untreated until recently, this can cause an unimaginable amount of stress, etc over many years for the wife in a long-term marriage. He also has Oppositional Defiance Disorder. What type of healing can the wife seek? How can the wife prepare for outbursts due to husbands mood swings?
My ADHD partner and I both are reading Non-Violent Communication by Marshall Rosenberg and it is helping our understanding of each other so much. His ADHD means he is extremely sensitive to criticism. My anger means that I need to be heard around the issues that have plagued our relationship. We are both trying to set aside our egos and working on how we communicate and LISTEN to each other. A year ago, I would have blown off the idea that we need to just work on communication. But NVC finally feels like a communication tool that will actually get us to dealing with the actual issues.
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The ADHD Effect on Marriage was listed in Huff Post as a top book that therapists suggest all couples should read.
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