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I stumbled upon this website tonight while researching ADHD and marriage and a lightbulb went off for me. As you can guess we're in a tough place right now. We've been together for 11 years, married 9, and have two children. One of our children also has ADHD. My husband was diagnosed as a child, but due to the lack of good medication options back then and the negative side effects he had from Ritalin he hasn't been medicated as an adult. Funny enough he had no issues trying out medication for our son, which by the way has been a great experience.

Hello im new on here, i happen to stumble on this site, ive been stressed about my relationship with my husband, and after reading some posts on here, it does seem like his ADHD is what makes him the way he is. Ive known he has it, he had issues in school because of it, but i never realized how it affects him as an adult until now. He has the obssesive tendencies and anxieties. 

Hii All,

I just discovered this forum and I'm so glad I did. Thank you.

 I feel completely stuck right now - stuck between the deep love I have for my boyfriend of 13 years and stuck with the frustration, stress, and feeling of hopelessness - of living with someone who has diagnosed ADD and who (from my POV) is not dealing with it incurring fall-out for me and our lives, and relationship and possibly sending us into living below the poverty line.

You ARE the company you keep.

I googled ADHD hyperfocus and googled Psychopathic Love Bombing.  They have slight differences, but scary similarities.  Anyway,  I am a new victim.  

Was "love bombed" for 3 months by an ADHD man,   Wow it was fascinating.  I fell head over heels and gave my heart.  LOL!  

Today, I am dead to him.  Texts and calls are ignored.  I am the invisible women.  Its so ridiculous i want to call 911 and state an emergency! 

He has moved on to another person.  Its like it didn't happen.

Oh well just a vent sorry.  Yep i am sad.  and in disbelief.  

I've really struggled with trying to communicate my feelings to my wife. We are so different, she really doesn't want to hear them.  I've definitely found out what doesn't work with her.

It really doesn't matter if you have add or not; no one wants to be continuously badgered about their ineptness. So as many of you know I've worked very hard at acceptance of her realities. It really has helped me to get my focus back onto my self, and my responsibilities vs having my mind bombarded with what she is or isn't doing

I read something today that gave me cause to pause!:  "Healthy people back away from situations that are injurious. or not to their taste.  Desperate people, those who were unable to leave an injurious home life in childhood, insist on making  their current destructive, injurious, or impossible situation work."  

Desperate?

Yep, desperate.  Am I desperate?  

I really have found no specific guideline or timeline of when to really know there is nothing left to try. I believe I have done as much emotional work as I can.   

So, I've been dating a guy and am totallty convinced he's got ADHD. Problem is he comes from a country that I know doesn't have a wide awareness of the diagnosis. We've reached the state where problems are kicking in (his focus changed from me to his new job and I feel rejected) and I've had to withdraw to protect myself, and he's acting defensive, and so on. I've tried to communicate without making him feel like he's a problem, that our brains just function differently and so on...

ADHD seems to create the perfect storm for failure. 

1) Accident Prone. Injured and not able to properly manage recovering. 

2) Misses important details in most situations. Misses important opportunities. 

3) Doesn't learn from past mistakes. Just keeps repeating. 

It is heart wrenching to watch the people you love sabotage their success, relationships, future. Especially when they have so much talent, intelligence, and potential. 

 

 

My husband used to take medicine for his ADHD when he was younger and then stopped, but then started taking them again about 2 years ago. A couple months ago he dropped some pills on the floor in the bathroom so he flushed those, but then of course was short so kept taking off work. Then last month he was short about a week...he said he was taking more because he felt he needed to. The past week he had told me he wanted to quit drinking so much and quit smoking. Well he's been really down, like depressed the past week, but I thought it was because of the lack of alcohol and cigs.