Recent forum posts (all topics)

One of my greatest strengths comes from my ability to be creative and think outside the box......I am eternally curious.  With that. also comes my insatiable need to learn new things.  At times....that can be to my detriment, but only when I don't think far enough ahead for my own good.  It does seem to go with the territory!  And to the point.....you can't have one without the other and this much I learned from being a student of life.  I love life and being a student within it.  That's a fancy way of saying.....I love to learn and this has never been my problem. 

I'm new to the forum. I found out I had ADD minus hyperactivity with Acute Anxiety Disorder a year-and-a-half ago. My wife and I have been married for more than 13 years, and most of them have been trying to say the least. We have three daughters and have somehow managed to make it work. I've worked in a field that often lends itself to moving from one place to another, though my ADD diagnosis seems to make all of our moves make a little more sense. But I have also had my shares of job losses, layoffs. It has taken a toll in my intimacy.

I love animals and always have.  Since I don't have children....I spend more time observing them more than most people I think.  I don't see animals as a replacement for children, but I really think they are a gift to have around me because of what I learn from them.  They are always present, aware of their surroundings and even prescient if you understand this about them.

I am new to this forum but thought I would ask for some advice from all of you relating to ADHD.

My partner is ADHD, we have a happy house, similar life goals, similar careers, good friend base, and apparently have crossed bridges that he has never crossed with anyone else. He has previously dated girls and ended things with them after 2 months moving on to the next one. He discussed this with me at length and was adamant that with me we have broken through it. He discussed the future with me, marriage, children, careers, and life. I felt truly special.

I think the biggest shock to my system was the lack of order....How many of you are planner's and like order, structure and systems in your daily living of life?

My fiance broke up with me after 13 years together. He said he had a lifecrises.

I didnt understand he had ADHD until after the breakup. I used to blame myself

 getting angry when he didnt listen and left me alone focusing 

on his work for days. 

The first years together he had his focus on me and he was spontaneus, fun and unconventional. Things were very good. Then he started to get

distracted, focusing on other things and the relation  got worse. He often misunderstood me.

He also had OCD and got more and more controlling.

When he goes out to get fast food, he NEVER comes back with he right stuff.  Then he gets pissed..SUPER pissed.  He tries to blame the people working there, but it always seems like he is really blaming himself.  I never seem to have the same issue. 

Recently, I was with him in the car and I didn't understand at first what he was ordering, he was saying it all wacky and I could see how the people inside would be confused.  Because I am learning to speak his language, I could see what he was doing though. 

I took a lot of responsibility for my spouse's stuff. It was how I developed my marriage into a parent/child relationship. For more than the past year, I had - HAD - to let go of him all together. His anger.  His ADHD.  I made my plan to love him as a person and the father of our children - but plan my own life going forward without him. His stuff says NOTHING about me, but everything about him. I chose to work on my stuff.  My spouse has to work on his.  A broken relationship is just that - a broken relationship.