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I'd like to know how many other people with spouses who have ADHD, have this issue:  Work vs. them ONLY doing things they "want" to do......and even combining the two. I'll use an example. My husband has hyperactive ADHD, and I also believe there are co-morbid conditions, but not sure which ones yet. He's always been on the go......nonstop......even when he's "WORKING". BUT, most of his "work" (the work he does in his office at home) is stuff he invents and "makes up" to do. It's not work that MUST be done.

Our kids avoid their dad as much as they can.  H knows this and blames me.  

Our kids have repeatedly told him, "our opinions about you are based on what we've witnessed and experienced".   But H won't accept that.  He wants to believe that I "turned the kids against him."   

The kids can rattle off dozens and dozens of stories where their dad behaved horribly, embarrassed them, or was cruel to me.   But, H won't accept that.  

He still blames me.

http://www.theblaze.com/contributions/adhd-definitely-doesnt-exist-but-i...

I've been reading through some of the posts on the forum and I can't help but find myself feeling as though I've been slapped in the face!  I see others feeling/experiencing/dealing with all of the same things I've been experiencing/feeling/dealing with!  I just want to say thank you God, I am not alone -- for the longest time I have felt utterly alone in this turmoil.

A little background:

My DH has ADD. Many of his behaviors I attribute to ADD. However, some of his behaviors I'm just not sure about.

For example, He gives away, throws away, and sells my belongings. These are items that I made, that I bought or that have sentimental value to me. It's very hurtful. Once he tried to throw away a box of keepsakes from my childhood. Luckily, I caught him before he succeeded. His personal belongings, on the other hand, he cherishes and keeps almost to the point of hoarding. In your opinion is this behavior linked to ADD or is something else involved?

So my husband is ADHD even though he hasn't been formally diagnosed. He knows it, I know it, there is no question.

He works from home and has a great job in sales, spends a lot of time on the phone, but also has decent down time as well. Slow days to watch tv, browse the internet etc, while a lot of very nonstop days on sales calls, and the occasional meeting he travels to in his territory.

We have been married almost 20 years and have three teenagers. I love my husband very much.  Even though we've both always had to work (isn't that mostly everyone today?), he's always done his part with work and contributing to the expenses (usually more than me). He was very much unlike my Dad and was very quiet and humble, I suppose that's part of what I found attractive.  

This is my first post, I was diagnosed with ADD as a child and was put on Ritalin around the age of 9 and had bad side effects with mood while on it.  My parents took me off of it and I went through life until I was about 28 when I talked with my doctor and got put on Adderall, I had depression issues with it and added Citalipram to deal with the depression side effect.  I met my wife about a year later and have been married for about 4 years now with two beautiful daughters.