Recent forum posts (all topics)

At this point, totally accepting the years I spent treading water and flailing in frustration in my marriage, I find I have a new emotion that I had not had before in my life.  Shame. Where is the shame coming from?  I am ashamed that I did not fight. That I sat in the false safely of denial and false hope. That I missed the opportunity to be a person of strength and character.  I let my family see the person I was then....a person who looked to the rules to walk straight and narrow believing that if I obeyed and cooperated that things would turn out OK .  Be humble, work hard, sacrifice.

Hi folks,

I want to tell my story and get support on how to address the effect that my partner's ADHD has affected my relationship with my child (who is also ADHD-like). When I read Melissa Orlov's book 5 years ago it was like someone telling the story of my marriage. But 5 years ago was a little too late. Then I was still reeling from my husband's affair 2 years prior...

I thought this guest post was great, but I wanted to add something that I realized after my ADD diagnosis at age 60 and 39 years of marriage.

After learning about the ADD time warp (which Melissa incredibly accurately refers to as now-not now), I realized that a huge proportion of my clashes with my wife over spending were at least partly the result of the now-not now time reality that I inhabit.  

I've restarted reading The ADHD Effect on Marriage: Understand and Rebuild Your Relationship in Six Steps, this time with focused intent. My wife is diagnosed ADHD, and two of my 3 children have ADHD, the third likely to have ADHD as well. I knew my wife a couple years, before marriage, knowing she has ADHD, yet not really understanding what it is (to this day, I still don't understand a great deal).

Hello everyone!

I know that forums like this (and almost any internet forum focused on a single issue or hobby or product) attracts nearly exclusively people with problems - people don't search the internet and start posting about things if they're happy, after all.

But browsing here on and off for the last nine months or so is a really shocking experience.

I am 61.  Figured out/was diagnosed ADD (or ADHD inattentive) last summer.  

Have been working with therapists for several years.  Added an ADHD-skilled therapist in January.  

Got prescriptions, and take them.

Hi everyone,

In 2011, I first posted here about my ADD wife and feeling terribly unhappy about our marriage. Her refusal to take responsibility for her ADD and my terribly unhelpful responses to her really ruined the marriage. My original post is here.

I have recently been diagnosed with ADHD, and Dr.

Loaded question, but spouse (without ADHD) has been with partner for 27 years. Have noticed decline in focus and attention among other things in spouse without ADHD all similar to symptoms exhibited by spouse (with ADHD). Is it possible for some of spouse's ADHD symptoms to rub off on partner without ADHD having been around each other so long? Picking up similar habits...obv not actually having the medical condition as that's not how you would get it, but losing patience/attention with things, moving more when supposed to be seated, similar to spouse as a LEARNED/OBSERVED habit...

I have been with my partner now for over two years. He has been diagnosed with ADHD since he was a child. He has the hyperactivity part but I've seen this side slow down with him dramatically. I recently walked away from our relationship. He seems to always put everything and everybody else before myself and my son.