Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“We are what we repeatedly do.  Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit”.

- Aristotle
 

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The Habit of Excellence

When I work with adults with ADHD I impress upon them that one of their top priorities is to create whatever structures and habits they need to become reliable in their relationship. For many that means taking ADHD medications, plus creating external structures that remind them to do things (such as setting cell phone reminders), plus working with their spouse to carefully coordinate expectations, priorities and timetables.

With effort, they find they can reliably hold up their end of the partnership’s responsibilities – fun or not – often for the first time. This frees the couple to focus on more positive things – such as having fun together, cherishing their family, and pursuing their dreams.

Their efforts are rewarded biologically, as well.  The brain works in a "use it or lose it" way - by creating repeatable habits, we "strengthen" our brain to help us do it more easily in the future.

We are, as Aristotle suggests, what we repeatedly do.  And becoming reliable on the mundane allows time to “repeatedly do” what’s really important - connect and enjoy each other.  That’s what I call “excellence".

MY NEXT SESSION OF THE ADHD EFFECT COUPLES COURSE STARTS ON WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012.  FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO THIS LINK.

© 2011 Melissa Orlov