Look Back and Say ?

Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“Billie Jean King says it’s all about what you want to look back and say. I agree with her. You can look back and say, “I could have been…,” polishing your unused endowments like trophies. Or you can look back and say, “I gave my all for the things I valued.” Think about what you want to look back and say. Then choose your mindset.”

- Carol Dweck, Ph.D., Mindset: The New Psychology of Success

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Carol Dweck’s book is a fascinating look at what it takes to continue to grow in your life…and how we can change our own mindset to help us succeed. It’s a good read, and encourages us to create a ‘growth’ or learning mindset that assumes we can all improve, rather than a ‘fixed’ mindset in which we think our talents are just what they are and can’t change.

This is a hugely relevant idea for couple impacted by ADHD. It’s just too easy to buy into the naysayer’s ideas about ADHD and feel, secretly or otherwise, that the ADHD partner is ‘broken’ and that’s just the way it is.  The truth, as demonstrated over and over again in research about treatment, is that like us all, those with ADHD have a great capacity for growth and change. They simply face a specific set of challenges that ends up with their having the label, ‘ADHD.’

If you struggle with feeling that you or a partner are trapped by ADHD, Dweck’s book can help you think twice about this assumption…and show you how to move into that ‘growth’ mindset that is so beneficial.

TIME IS GROWING SHORT TO SIGN UP FOR THIS SPRING'S ADHD COUPLES SEMINAR, which starts April 15th.  This 8-week seminar is given by conference call, so it's easy to participate and change your relationship for the better.  Full information about the course is at this link.  Use the coupon code "APRIL14" to save $20 on the registration fee.  Please sign up ASAP so you can have more time for the new pre-reading on ADHD treatments!

© 2014 Melissa Orlov