ADHD & Marriage News - July 13, 2021
Quote of the Week
“One side of co-dependency is that you always put others ahead of yourself. You feel you can't, or that you better not, say no.”
-Darlene Lancer, from the Adult Chair podcast
Putting Others Ahead of Yourself
Does the idea of putting others ahead of yourself sound familiar? How about saying “I should just do X because it’s too much of a hassle to get my partner to do it”?
If so, there’s a word for that – co-dependency. It’s when you don’t support yourself in a way that helps you thrive and, instead, subjugate yourself to the needs of others around you. While it may be expedient at first, over the long-run it can make you feel less than, depressed and invisible.
Parent/child dynamics is one example of co-dependency in ADHD-impacted relationships. One partner under-performs and the other person compensates for that at cost to themselves.
One of the best resources for understanding and getting out of co-dependency is an ‘oldie but goodie,’ Melodie Beatty’s book, Co-Dependent No More. If you think you struggle with these issues, I urge you to read it. It, combined with information about how to manage ADHD issues, will start you on a path to a healthier relationship.
STARTING OCTOBER 20TH - Need help in your ADHD impacted relationship? The ADHD Effect 8-session live Couples' Seminar has helped many, many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. Registration OPEN! Repair your marriage & learn to thrive now!
Join me for the ADHD Parents Palooza – Understand the nuances of parenting ADHD. Starts Monday, July 26, 2021. Free.
For those in marriages impacted by ADHD
Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life!
Resources
Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS October 20, 2021. Registration is now open.
Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.
How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.
Question? Contact Melissa.
© 2021 Melissa Orlov