I love this idea, and it reminds me of all the things I used to do that made me uncomfortable.  I did them because I thought I should, and because I couldn’t think of any alternatives that seemed to work.  Here are just a few:

• Hide feelings because I thought my partner wouldn’t like them

• Take on too much work because my partner didn’t engage with it

• Accept my partner’s disrespectful comments, writing them off ‘because he was angry’

• Wait way too long to get professional help

I wish I had chosen to stick up for myself more.  Not by judging my partner but by doing the opposite – engaging with him in a positive, non-parenting way.  Insisting that he figure out how to treat me and everyone else in the family with respect.  Listening to his anger and believing what he said, then trying to do something about it rather than resist.

I don’t owe it to my husband to take on his moods, behaviors and negativity any more than he owes that to me.  But I DO owe it to both of us to engage thoughtfully, honestly about my feelings and desires (NOTE that I do not say ‘needs’ here…most of what we ask for are desires or wants, rather than truly needs.)

If you’re feeling uncomfortable with your relationship don’t sit back.  Respectfully request engagement or make changes in your life that address your issues.

 

Are you feeling uncomfortable with your relationship? - STARTING OCTOBER 20TH - The ADHD Effect 8-session live Couples' Seminar has helped many, many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. Registration OPEN! Repair your marriage & learn to thrive now!

Listen to one of my most detailed interviews on ADHD: love-bombing, emotional dysregulation, procrastination, planning, kids, treatment and much more. 

Adult ADHD can have a huge impact on your relationship. Find great resources for couples impacted by ADHD including free: Online treatment overview; Downloadable chapters of my books; A community forum with other couples facing similar issues; A large number of blog posts on various topics; Referrals. ADHDmarriage.com can literally change your life! 

Resources

Is your relationship in trouble? Consider my highly acclaimed couples' course: ADHD Effect In-Depth Couples' Seminar - This 8-session phone seminar has helped many couples thrive in healthier, happier relationships. The next live session STARTS October 20, 2021. Registration is now open.

Support Tele-groups - Be part of a community exploring similar issues, successes and struggles and find new, effective ways to be your best self in your relationship: Non ADHD Partner Support Tele-group and ADHD New Habit Coaching Group.

How to Optimize Treatment for Adult ADHD - go to the home page for a free download about the best ways to manage ADHD.

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