Touch When Words Won’t Come

"So, I just wanted to tell you I read your tips every week. I’m a non ADHD husband. I love my wife. She has the best heart ever. This Aug will be 30yrs of marriage. I have my faults.

I have recently become aware of just how much ADHD has impaired my wife’s ability to mentally hear verbal communication and to formulate verbal communication back. But communication in print helps.  So texting helps a lot. But sometimes during emergency emotional moments there is no time for texting. The true bonding emotions must be conveyed immediately. If we rely on verbal communication at those times my wife is handicapped to express herself and her words often come out saying things she didn’t mean. That is, if words come out at all.

This can be very difficult for both of us. The big question is how can we successfully express our feelings so we can unite during trialsome times? 

We are trying just two things. First look each other in the eyes when we talk. Second, communicate through touch.  If you can’t formulate the words right away say it through loving touch. Show your heart to your mate when you feel you just can’t say the right words. This stop so many wrong conclusions during the silent critical moments someone needs to express their feelings, but can’t." 

This week’s quote… So, in the heat of a moment if you feel you caused pain accidentally in your relationship… say your feelings of re-bonding with touch first. This has been a new break through for us….Just two simple things. Look each other in the eyes when you speak and communicate through touch as a first feelings responder. Works miracles

- Non-ADHD partner, James, in an email

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Resources

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