Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“I’d like to see a politician actually be remorseful, and not just for getting caught. Or they could take the advice of my middle school principal: Don’t be sorry, be different.”

- Donna Brazile

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Every single one of us has done something in their marriage which they regret – sometimes really big “somethings” that risk tearing our marriage apart (affairs, hidden loans, pornography, drug addiction, physical abuse all come to mind as examples).

Brazile’s middle school principal had it right. If you are going to recover from something big (and even something small that’s hurtful) you must not only apologize, but BE different. That might mean attending a 12-step program, cutting off all communication with a man with whom you’ve become too emotionally close, or getting treatment for a gambling addiction to support the changes you must make to regain your partner’s trust.

Or, perhaps the thing you want to change is smaller. That’s okay, too. Just remember that what counts is making sure you will “be” different.

© 2011 Melissa Orlov