The Power of “YES, AND”

Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“The second rule of improvisation is not only to say ‘yes’, but 'YES, AND'…To me, YES, AND means don’t be afraid to contribute.  It’s your responsibility to contribute.  Always make sure you are adding something to the discussion.”

-Tina Fey, from Bossypants

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Relationships are a like improv – you never know what exactly is coming your way…and the success of the interaction depends upon a thousand little back and forths.  Within this context, the word “yes” is powerful.  The combination “YES, AND” is powerful times ten.  You only need to hear your spouse say “yes, dear...” in that dismissive voice you hate (at least I do!) to know that “yes” does not equal involvement.  “Yes, and” demonstrates “I’ve heard you, I’m interested in what you’re saying, and I’m involved enough to want to continue the conversation.”

Fey uses “yes, and” as a way of continuing an improv skit in whatever direction comes to mind and makes it more interesting.  Couples can use it as a way to stay connected and show they care.  Try it!
 

MY NEXT SESSION OF THE ADHD EFFECT COUPLES COURSE STARTS ON WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 2012.  YOU CAN STILL SIGN UP UNTIL APRIL 28TH AND CATCH UP BY LISTENING TO THE FIRST SESSION RECORDING.  FOR MORE INFORMATION, GO TO THIS LINK.

© 2011 Melissa Orlov