Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“I learned a great deal by observing a variety of leadership styles.  The most basic lesson is this:  Effective leadership is based on persuasion, not on hierarchy or on one’s position on an organizational chart.  Leadership is most effective when you bring cooperative work to bear on solving hard problems.”

- Clayton Spencer, President of Bates College

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Perhaps the hardest problem I ever had to face was how to fix my struggling marriage.  And I chose the “wrong” way to do it – pushing and pushing my husband to change what he was doing.  After years of failure with that method I finally learned to “lead” a different way – by trying to persuade my husband when there is something to be concerned about, and by “bringing cooperative work to bear” when we have a hard problem to solve.

And this method works!  First, it’s respectful and he responds to that.  Second, the problems are ours, not mine alone.  Only with his cooperation and buy-in will we ever really solve them.

Are you using Spencer’s leadership advice? 

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REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN FOR MY LIVE PHONE SEMINAR FOR COUPLES IMPACTED BY ADHD.  THIS COURSE HAS HELPED MANY COUPLES IMPROVE THEIR RELATIONSHIP.  MORE INFO AT THIS LINK.

© 2013 Melissa Orlov