Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“Healing doesn’t mean the damage never existed.  It means the damage no longer controls our lives”

- unknown, posted on Facebook by Coach Sharon St. John

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Healing and forgiveness are closely related.  To heal, just as to forgive, you do not need to believe what your partner did to you is “okay.”  In fact, you can hate it.  But in order to heal you have to love yourself enough to explore your hurt and then do what you need to be able to let go of it.  Until you let go of the damage and your hurt feelings, it’s hard to move forward.

The classic case is letting go of a partner’s affair.  You will never think that her affair was a good thing.  And the damage it caused will always remain – you will never think of your partner or your relationship in the same way again.  But that affair need not control your feelings, actions or interactions for the rest of your life.  In fact, to let it do so would mean that, in his own way, the “other guy” won.

Healing, and forgiveness, are gifts you give to yourself so you can live a happy life again.

For those of you having trouble forgiving someone, Ned Hallowell explores this idea in his lovely book, “Dare to Forgive” which is full of great ideas about how to let go of hurt.

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REGISTRATION IS NOW OPEN FOR MY HIGHLY ACCLAIMED COUPLES PHONE SEMINAR THAT STARTS OCT. 1ST.  FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER IT INCLUDES A BONUS SESSION ON FINDING ADHD STRENGTHS.  IF YOU ARE STRUGGLING IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP, REGISTER NOW!  (P.S. - I RECORD ALL LIVE SESSIONS SO IF YOU MISS ONE YOU CAN LISTEN TO IT LATER TO 'CATCH UP' AGAIN!)

© 2013 Melissa Orlov