Heart to Heart

Tips for Thriving in your Marriage

“My wife and I got into the habit of griping about the day’s frustrations as soon as we got home from work.  After a while, though, I realized that if you discuss only problems with your partner, there’s a good chance you’ll develop a problem relationship.”

- Dr. Phil

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My husband used to be late coming home from the office – he had a lot to do…work and traffic don’t always make it easy to get to family dinner.  It used to make me angry, though, so when he walked through the door there was often a negative interaction between us.  Either “you’re late again and didn’t call” or a defensive response on his part “The traffic was terrible…” and anticipation that I was about to complain (that’s the nice word for it!)

That’s simply a bad way to start your evening, and you both deserve better than that.  We solved our problem, when the kids were younger by having a regular dinner time that he made when he could.  He missed the fun when he didn’t eat with us, so he tried to make it as much as possible.  The real benefit, though, was that clarifying that what time he arrived was his responsibility, not mine, helped us both be more even tempered when he did arrive – we had happier evenings.

P.S. So did the kids.

© 2013 Melissa Orlov