And it really upsets me! He takes off work (without pay) at LEAST once a week. Usually because he's tired or he had an argument with a co-worker or because he just wants to play his video game. This has been going on for years. I see his texts to his boss and it's usually he hurt his back somehow. He fell on the ice, he lifted something the wrong way, he pulled it while fixing the car, etc. Then not only can he not go in that day, but then there's usually the follow up the next day of "I will be a few hours late because I have a doctor's appt first thing." Of course then come 8AM he texts again "Oh the doctor got me in to see the chiropractor at 10AM so I won't be in today." I mean really his boss must think he is the clumsiest guy around with weekly doctor's appts. He is in a union and has FMLA which always seems to work for him even if he's not sick so as long as he has a fake excuse he isn't getting fired. And funny how he always manages to "hurt" his back the night before and he magically is able to get in for an 8AM appt EVERY time! Always makes it seem like he's just going to be a few hours late so it sounds legit and then has somethign else come up.
Well last week he got up at 4AM as usual to go to work, but then decided he didn't want to go and texted his boss something. I didn't know what he said but he reset his alarm for 6AM like he was going in a few hours late. Well I got up at 6 and left at 7 and he was still asleep. I got home that night and checked his texts. His first text that morning to his boss was 'My wife's car isn't running well and she needs me to give her a ride to work. Will be in at 8AM." Well then at about 7:30 he texted him "Bad car issues. I'm on the side of the road with a broke down car waiting on a tow truck. Thought wife was crazy. Won't be in today". Okay so my car wasn't running well so you gave me a ride in in MY car and then it breaks down at the side of the road? That makes no sense! Wouldn't you take YOUR car to give me a ride?? And then to tell his boss that "Thought my wife was crazy" really irked me! Thought I was crazy about what? The car having fake issues? Then he responds later on in the day to his boss "Yeah it was the front bushings about ready to go. It could have been much worse".
His reasons for not going to work are just absurd and it's all the time, not just once every couple of months. Bringing me into the mix as one of his excuses isn't cool either! If he is making up these wild excuses to his boss, who knows what lies he's telling me!
Sorry he uses you as a scapegoat
Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on
Mapper,
These are the sort of things that really get me upset. Is it a lie? Is it an excuse? Can we take the excuse our ADHD spouse made that was not truthful and label it a lie? Yep, this is the sort of craziness I try to unravel.
One of the times my spouse got pulled over for erratic driving, he told the officer, "I was having an argument with my wife." With that, he got a warning and was told to "Take your arguments home."
I guess at times I wonder what my spouse says about me when I am not around. His family of original uses quiet, behind-your-back accusations to get people over to their their way of thinking, all the while smiling and feigning innocence, peace and tranquility. Yuck-o. I never know where I stand, so I do not spend time with them. Too fakey. Too emotionally draining. I control MY end, and am as pleasant as I can be when I encounter any of them out in public. My conscience is clear. If I am moved to hug them, I do. I do not do it out of some sort false sense of duty.
Same old crap today!
Submitted by Mapper (not verified) on
So H works 2 hours of OT yesterday because they NEED to get this project done. When I get home last night he tells me that he needs to get to bed by 7 because he needs to be in by 3AM tomorrow to work early overtime so I should set the coffee pot to no later than 2:15. He also has a root canal appt at 10:45 so he will need to leave work at 10AM (and not go back afterwards, of course). Well right there with him being so adamant about getting to bed early I know he won't and I am pretty sure he won't be going to work at all. Sure enough he starts having a few drinks and playing his video game. At 8:30 I hear "Just 10 more minutes and I'll be in to bed". Well he doesn't come in until almost 9:30 and then sits up reading for 30 minutes. The alarm goes off at 2:30 and he of course resets it for his usual 4AM. Guess no overtime huh? Then at 4AM he turns it off, sits up in bed thinking about what he's going to do and then out comes the phone and he texts his boss something. Who knows what the excuse was this time. No work today and I mean why WOULD you go to work when you have an appt at 10:45...more than 5 hours after you start work?! And why was it not possible to schedule it for AFTER work? He gets off at 1:30!
He was all amped for his big $12/hr raise he got in May and said how we'd be on easy street after that. Well he has yet to work a full 80 hour paycheck with that raise. Just looked at his paycheck he gets tomorrow. A whole 56 hours for 2 weeks of work and after everything was taken out a whopping $655! Gee I don't know why I don't quit my job since you are just raking in the bucks! I only get paid once a month so I have to budget, but my monthly paychecks are anywhere between $3200 and $3600. Even if I was getting them every 2 weeks like H does they'd still amount to at least $1600 a check! He is making over $12/hr more than I am so why is it that I take WAY more home than him???