I am sure from the title of my post you have figured out that i am the ADHD husband. Yep that is who I am, diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 61 years of age two years ago. All of the standard tests , criteriia, etc that one could conceive of to diagnose ADHD, I can proudly state that I passed with flying colors. I am a guy that does not have a clue of what it is like to be depresssed, I see beauty in everytrhing I see,whether it is a sunny day with blue skies, or stormy cloudy dark winter day with lots of thunder and lightning. I have had a wonderful rewarding and financially secure career as an engineer who is known to his peers as a person that seems to be able to easily think outside of the box. I can focus on a dime if I need to , or read a technical book from beginning to end in one sitting if feel like it. Yet other books I have tried to read, by the time I get to the bottom of the first page, I have forgotten what i read at the top of the page. Why have I been so successsful, in my career, I can honestly say that it is because how I am wired, I am MR ADHD. With that said so you know who I am, lets talk about my beautiful wife, who is really a saint to still be with me, she is the one that got me to seek help, she is the one whose life I have (unintentionally) made a living hell. This fact makes me feel quite sad, I wish, I had a majic wand that could erase her pain for ever. So today I stop feeling sorry for myself, and I start paying attention to her, ( she is non add, these types need our care) I wish she couold be like me, I wish every body could be ADHD, but alas, that is a world only us true ADDERs couol conceive of. So I will do my best to take out the trash, to turn off the lights, to stop loosing my keys, to be home on time, to pick my socks up and put them in the hamper, to stop ignoring her ( to me I never have ignored her, or so I thought), to really let her know that I love her, by holdiing her an being intimate with her every second that I am with her.("You do know intimacy is a big issue for these ""non add types and yes" and this is where I have truly missed the mark) So ,when she seems upset at you for missing the exit on the highway after 4 tries because you were distracted , or j you just could not get that thought about the juicy hamburger you just ate, loosen up, and tell her in loving way that you are sorry ( and really mean it, fellas she is "non add), they cant all be calm, cool and collective as we are in these types of situations, they wish they could, but they cant. The bottom line is,when I look in to her eyes, she is my calming influence, as long as she is happy, my ADHD world is worth livin in, I know if fall in the sand, she will pick me up dust me off, kiss me on the cheek, and encourage me to go on. How do I know this ? I know it because this is what non ADD people do, this is who she is, she has always done this. So in summary, the good lord in all of his "wisdom and "judgement" decided to wire me in this perfect way ,and I am not going fight his perfectiion) But there is no excuse to let this perfection create havoc in anybodies life, especially the best friend I have and will ever have, my beautilful wife, my sole mate, the love of my life. This is how I used to describe her to all of my friends, it is a bit said that I cant remember the last time I held her hand, looked into her beautiful eyes and expressed those words to her with utmost sincerity. OOps, I have taken to much of your time, got to go, got some explaining to do to you know who!
I laughed,
Submitted by wishannastar on
I cried, I hoped.
Thanks for your post.
Me, too! Thanks
Submitted by newfdogswife on
Me, too!
Thanks