Hi:  I got on this site about 6 years ago in desperation and isolation.  I've been married to an otherwise wonderful man for almost 23 years.  When we had twins 17 years ago his ADD exploded.  He and I are the exact example of a couple in "The ADD Effect on Marriage."  We have both been aware of our situation since discovering this site and these books.  Armed with that knowledge, I took him to the Mayo Clinic, have arranged therapy with 5 different marriage counselors over the years and have made myself crazy.  He says he always feels like the "project" in marriage counseling right before he decides not to return.  So finally I said I want a divorce; I'm moving out.  SNAP  NOW HE SAYS HE GETS IT.  WTF?  He says the light finally came on and to "give him a second chance."  Truth be told, I've given him 1000 chances over these years.  My current frustration is that my kids only see how much fun their dad is and adore him.  I'm glad they adore him but they have no way of seeing the underlying problems of an ADD/non-ADD marriage.  All they see is my reaction to him:  nagging, controlling, disappointment, etc.  He is now the "victim" who is broken hearted.  My kids now HATE ME.  My daughter isn't talking to me.  They want to live with him and can't wait till the movers come later this week for me to get out.  My husband keeps saying "how can you abandon us."  I have a legitimate reason for leaving.  It's all ADD related.  No cheating, lying, etc.  All ADD, depression and anxiety which the kids don't really see.  So now, to divorce my husband means I divorce my kids too.  I can't take it anymore though.  I just can't take it.  Anybody else leave their ADD spouse and also lose their kids?  Will they come back around?  c.