Has anyone else experienced their ADD spouse having occassional sudden flare-ups of temper?  My husband is doing it again.  He calls me horrible names, tells me he hates me, etc.  I can't spend the rest of my life like this.  Then he comes out of it just as suddenly as he started.  He cries, apologizes, says he doesn't know what happens to him.  When it gets really bad he makes impulsive, sweeping decisions that often throw our life completely off coarse.  The most recent example would be we have been working hard to recover financially from his debt and have been in the process of planning a long anticipated move to another state.  He is one year into the state police application process, almost all the way through.  He flipped out last night, spent a couple of hours swearing at me and calling me horrible names, then informed me that he is going active in the Army (he is National Guard and regrets ever joining the military at all).  Of coarse this would destroy our plans and all the work we've done toward those plans over the last two years.  These episodes happen 2 or 3 times a year but they are so extreme and damaging.  His phases last anywhere from a few hours to a few weeks.  On a different subject, people with ADD do use it as an excuse.  I told him that we are separating our money and now, suddenly, he is less impulsive in his spending and is paying his own bills on time.  It took him awhile but out of necessity he magically learned to be more responsible.  Definitely do not go out of your way to help a grown man or woman with ADD if it is a detriment to you.  That's enabling.  Pull the rug out from under them and let them stand on their own two feet.  It will be better for you and your marriage and you'll be amazed at what they suddenly are able to handle on their own....that is, if you can last through the temper tantrum that will inevitably ensue.