My husband and I have been together since 2010 and married since 2013. We have not gotten diagnosed but I think we both have ADHD. I have been he sole provider since about a year into us dating. He lived with his parents for several years as he did not have a job and I did nt make enough money at the time to support us both as I lived with my mom as well. We have been living together for 6ish years now and I have been the sole provider the whole time. My husband has been diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder and depression (I have no doubt he also has ADHD.) About 4 years ago he got approved for SSI disability however I made too much for him to get any payments. So for years now I have been taking care of the house on my own and it is draining me. I feel that I also have ADHD and it is tough for me to manage the bills, cleaning the house (not often enough), and work full time. My husband cooks. That is all he has ever be able to consistently help with. I have resented him for many year but sometimes now I feel like I would be better off on my own. It's hard to watch him play video games, watch shows and sleep all day while I have so much stress to deal with. I care for him very much an will always love him but I feel like giving up. We do not have kids. Just a pet bunny. I feel like I have a kid though. He does not drive even though he has his license so if something needs to be done I do it even if I am busy. He is very critical and not complementary at all. I find he nags me a lot. When I am not doing things the way he would do them. Sometimes we will be good for a while with no fighting and I will forget about how I feel but sometimes he is cold and I feel the resentment again. The issue is if I leave he has no where to go. He does not get along with his family well enough to live with them and he has no friends. He does not have any income. We have talked many times about him getting a part time job but he makes no effort to find oe and I feel like a nag every time I bring it up as it usually causes a fight. I am frustrated and not sure what my next step is. Just looking for some advice or similar situations.
I think it takes a great
Submitted by JinnyTonic on
I think it takes a great amount of love to care for another's wellbeing while you are hurting, but you cannot hinder your happiness based on worry about where he'll go if you separate. He needs to learn to take care of himself and he is likely not going to change if you don't force it.