Submitted by Anonymous (not verified) on 04/28/2023.
Why is it that I get so motivated to do anything right when my husband is angry at me? It's as if someone's anger powers me to do tasks and responsibilities around the house. It's a problem I have been for years, but only considered it just recently.
Motivated by anger
Submitted by Swedish coast on
This I can relate to, but from being on the other side of it. My emotions are used by my partner for navigating home life, since he lacks overview. It's exhausting and insulting for the non-ADHD partner. But I think it's the reality of the ADHD mind. If nobody reacts, there is no discernible problem. Sort of like "a tree falls in the forest, if nobody hears it, is there a sound?".
I can't be angry all the time
Submitted by ThisIsMyLife on
This is exactly what my wife does. I look at other people and the trigger is that their partner is doing something so they either help or do another task in the same time frame. Then sit down together when it's all done.
I don't think I will ever have that. I seem to do everything and more. The fact that I am unhappy doesn't register or motivate, in fact even when I have asked her to put my son to bed whilst I am doing something else she'll ask my 4 year old son to come and ask me to put him to bed.
She's pushing me further and further away although she doesn't think there is a problem, because I'm not shouting about it.
And if you do shout about it
Submitted by Will It Get Better on
And if you do 'shout about it' then 'shouting' will be the major relationship issue while all the preceding events will be unacknowledged. Again.
Motivation
Submitted by T00T00 on
I was wondering these:
-when he is angry, did he give you attention? Appreciation? Talk? Share his opinions/feelings? Silent treatment?
-when he isn't angry, did he give you attention? Appreciation? Talk? Share his opinions/feelings? Silent treatment?
-was the sink super full? Half full? Barely anything? Empty?
-was the laundry basket super full? Half full? Barely anything? Empty?
-did you have more free time? Less free time?
-did you have more stress? Less stress?
-did you have more energy? Less energy?
-is your love tank (how you feel love coming from him, friends, kids, etc.) full? Half full? Barely anything? Empty?
Maybe look at the situation (surrounding the angry incident) a bit more. Then compare it with the previous situations & afterwards as well.