Please bear with me. Things are a bit depressing at the moment since I've been in bed with a virus for a week. I also just found out I will have to meet my ADD ex shortly at an event.

It's so humiliating to have been subjected to what I have. How do you walk through a room where is someone you've lived two decades with and born several children to and who's then treated you like sh-t? Someone you've almost destroyed yourself to stick with out of loyalty since he was so ill, and who's then shown you you meant nothing? Someone who's probably still ill, but great at hiding his pain and dysfunction among people and so will give you that perfect act of normalcy and coolness. Making it look and feel like instead, you're upset, stupid, and pathetic.

I know some admirable people who've been treated worse by their ex partners but just go out there and keep a brave face. I don't know how they do it. They seem to do all right. I die inside. 

I can't stand the humiliation of being lied to by him. I can't stand his acts. I want to shout, and expose him, and embarrass him. For having destroyed our trust, used me, and hurt me, and then forgotten all about it.