Forum topic: The Agony and the Ecstasy

Wed Sep 3rd, 2014 - 12:44am by perfectstorm5

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD

I moved out this weekend after over 30 years of marriage, and over five years of arguing about his inability/unwillingness/denial about getting a job. It was the hardest thing i have ever done in my life. I know that in spite of the fact that i hope he will be motivated to lift himself out of a very dark place, that may not actually happen. The ecstasy comes from the peace and freedom that i have been craving for so long. If he still resists treatment, I don't think I'll go back, but I truly hope that this acts as a spark. There was definitely co-dependence in the status quo.

Comments

Submitted by dweeb on Wed Sep 3rd, 2014 - 9:07am

perfectstorm5, I have no advice to offer you, I'd just like to say good for you, for getting through the hardest thing you've ever done!!  Hope the worst is over for you.

Submitted by Standing on Wed Sep 3rd, 2014 - 9:22am

I admire your courage and I hope that your husband will catch some of it!!

Take good care of yourself.

My soul has dwelt too long with one who hates peace. Psalm 120:6

I'm So Exhausted's picture

Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on Wed Sep 3rd, 2014 - 10:04am

perfectstorm5,

I understand.  Completely.  I wish you every success in your endeavors.  

*******I have recently seen a lady looking back at me from the mirror - and I said, "Hello friend. Long time no see!""*******

Submitted by c ur self on Wed Sep 3rd, 2014 - 1:54pm

My separation was very positive...I hope you the same:)...While we lived together I could not see the forest for the trees...A time a part was very exposing for us both.

Submitted by perfectstorm5 on Thu Sep 4th, 2014 - 1:07pm

Thanks, all! I feel so fortunate to have the support of my family(and my husband's family) and friends.  I know that many of you are in a situation where the problems are more invisible to outsiders, and that can be tough. Everyone who knows my husband says that he is a great guy who needs to get some help. My husband now says that he "intends" to get help, but in spite of a promising referral, he made one phone call, got the initial paperwork, lost it immediately, and is too embarrassed to call back. I know that his intentions are good, but I needed to remove myself from the constant inaction.  I am hoping for some of the clarity that you got c ur self, but I am also worried that he may never forgive me for leaving.