Forum topic: Here's a weird thing...fast food ordering

Sat May 9th, 2015 - 9:12am by Vivien

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD

When he goes out to get fast food, he NEVER comes back with he right stuff.  Then he gets pissed..SUPER pissed.  He tries to blame the people working there, but it always seems like he is really blaming himself.  I never seem to have the same issue. 

Recently, I was with him in the car and I didn't understand at first what he was ordering, he was saying it all wacky and I could see how the people inside would be confused.  Because I am learning to speak his language, I could see what he was doing though. 

Man...it's SUCH a no big deal for me to order fast food and with him, it's a crazy complicated thing that gets screwed up and becomes a source of frustration and shame.  And I just wanted the damned chicken sandwich without sauce!

Comments

Geese's picture

Submitted by Geese on Sun May 10th, 2015 - 3:16pm

I can see that happening. I'm the ADHD spouse and actually don't like fast food or drive thrus, but my wife does. I find drive thrus a massive inconvenience, which is funny of course because it's considered a life simplifier for most other people. Ordering a "meal" from a modular menu, remembering whether cut off time for breakfast has happened or not, making exceptions and changes, choosing a toy, communicating through a sound system that would make you think the other person was miles away and underwater, pulling up to one window to pay and another to receive. And then, DRIVING while eating, drinking and trying not to care that fake cheese sauce is getting squeezed into the car upholstery by the munchkin behind you. All this with the added bonus of moving your death-by-cancer/heart attack date up by a day. Despite the obstacles though I'm okay at getting the order right 70% of the time. Wish I wasn't though, because it would be a great excuse to go home and eat real food: "Sorry honey can't eat that crap, cuz my brain won't let me order it"
The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is convincing the world he doesn't exist.

Submitted by Hysterical37 (not verified) on Mon May 11th, 2015 - 1:07pm

Been with OH when he has confused people behind the counter and I had to translate.

Submitted by Sally_87 on Thu Jun 4th, 2015 - 8:44am

Omg yes!! My partner won't order any fast food for me because I have my burgers with no pickle and it's too hard to order apparently. Lol he will even get the order wrong if I send it to him in a text message. One time I messaged him with my subway order, ham, cheese and mayo and he came back with a cheese and Mayo sub. 

i csnt handle being in the car while he's trying to order in the drive thru, but if I talk over him he'll get angry lol. I can't even workout why he's so confusing, that's the strange thing. I'll have to have a close listen next time 

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Fri Jun 5th, 2015 - 9:55am

With him, I think the problem is that he talks too much....and he doesn't say things in the right order.  Plus, he doesn't put in appropriate pauses so that the person taking the order has time to put the order in correctly.

Submitted by Sally_87 on Sun Jun 7th, 2015 - 8:17pm

Lol yes that sounds about right.. He's the exact same when he tries to tell stories, instead of saying my mate from school used to live in this house, it's remember those people we met 2 years ago while we were picking up pizza, see that house there with the blue gate and the red car out the front, my mate that now lives in "wherever" used to live in that house. And forgetting what he was trying to say halfway through the convo as well, so that 10 second story takes 5 minutes :) 

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Mon Jun 8th, 2015 - 1:55am

A similar thing would happen when H would call me from work.  Instead of him simply saying, "I'll be home at 6pm, so you'll know when to have dinner ready," .....H would say, "I was thinking about leaving work around 5pm, but I need to pick up a Rx, if that doesn't take too long, then I may go work out at the gym.  If I do then I won't be home until 7pm.  But, I may be late leaving work because I may decide to finish this project first.  If I do then I will be too tired to work out so I'll come straight home.  But, I do need to pick up that Rx, so I'll do that first.  I hope my boss doesn't come by because I don't feel like finishing that project tonight. I'd rather go to the gym. ......blah blah blah.

 

I just want to say, "just tell me when you'll be home".  

H gets mad when I cut him off, but who wants to listen to this diarrhea of the mouth?

Submitted by Hysterical37 (not verified) on Mon Jun 8th, 2015 - 3:30am

I'm long past cutting him off. I feel almost rude at times, when I say 'stop talking drivel' or I say 'please shut up you're driving me insane' and sometimes he does especially if he is attention seeking with drivel. Like he was walking up the stairs towards me and he said 'isn't my bum weird?' honestly it drives me mad! Or he calls me boop balah bo. It's like babbling.

Submitted by kellyj on Mon Jun 8th, 2015 - 1:15pm

You can only be nice for so long with no response or change if the the other person is just not getting it.  At that point, you need to send a different message that is more direct.  I only wanted to add something to this as far as denial is concerned.  If someone is in denial or just oblivious....getting short and direct without the balance (the positive reinforcement )  you aren't teaching them anything and thy aren't learning either.  I think this is where you need to speak up and say WHY....you are telling you BF to shut up. (not just because you might get in an accident with me in the car if you understand what I'm saying?)   That's just it.....all the defenses from him is to keep you from saying what he is in denial of  (his reactions whatever they are...depression or anger?).  If you don't speak directly to the source of the problem just because he doesn't like hearing it...nothing will come of it other than he won't have to face what he doesn't want to face.  At that point....your right back to square one and you still end up feeling like you're the rude one.  I don't think what you are dong is being rude if you are speaking to the source and saying what is real even if the other person doesn't like hearing it.  You're doing it for the both of you and in his best interest.  I can't see anything wrong with that if that is what you are doing.

FYI....my wife has turned a major corner this last week.  The change in her has been dramatic since I finally said..."that's enough."

 

J

 

 

Submitted by Sally_87 on Mon Jun 8th, 2015 - 9:17am

Lol it does get like that.. But for me the repercussions of telling him to shut up isn't worth it.. I kinda make a joke out of it now, like I'm gonna be 90 before you finish this story. And if we go past a house I'll say oh is that where your mums cousins, brother lives, the one with the 3 legged dog with the pink collar lives 

Submitted by dvance on Sat Jun 27th, 2015 - 10:55pm

This happens at my house ALL. THE. TIME.  I will ask DH when he is will be home, just like you, and he will say when my meeting is over, or something like that.  Um, I don't know what time the meeting begins, how long it will last or where it is taking place, so how is this helpful to me?  Or is I ask when he is leaving for work, he is liable to say the same time I left yesterday BUT I leave before him, so I how would I know what time that was?  Bizarre.  Just answer the damn question.  

Submitted by Hopeful Heart on Sat Jun 27th, 2015 - 7:09pm

My husband is a very picky eater. When he orders at a drive-through he has a lot of special requests....extra this, hold that, put that on the side. I can always tell that the person taking the order is confused. The funny part....90% of the time it is my "simple" order that gets messed up. Somehow, they get his "special everything" order correct. We laugh about it and I enjoy the few times that his order gets messed up.