Forum topic: He says he's blamed for *everything*

Mon Jul 6th, 2015 - 8:03pm by LyraHeartstrings

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD

This is something I've heard over and over in our almost 8 years of marriage, how he says everything is ALWAYS his fault and he's ALWAYS getting blamed for things that aren't his fault. Now very clearly I have pointed out many times where he was the person responsible but he refuses to accept it. 

Do your ADHD'ers say this? He's like a massive martyr and doesn't see anyone else's suffering ever.

Comments

Dipity's picture

Submitted by Dipity on Sat Jul 18th, 2015 - 9:15am

Hello lyraheartstrings. In my experience this is common in my household. I don't know if this is something so ingrained in Dh that he feels he will be blamed or needs to apportion blame as a coping strategy. Blame or be blamed kind of thing. Could also be his own self perception that people don't like him (often the case here) and therefore automatically feels any kind of comments are negative even if they are not meant in that way. I think my Dh often has a negative filter and seemingly innocuous comments that I make arrangements taken as a direct insult or with a negative connotations when it was simply just a statement of fact.

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Wed Jul 22nd, 2015 - 11:52pm

<<<

I think my Dh often has a negative filter and seemingly innocuous comments that I make arrangements taken as a direct insult or with a negative connotations when it was simply just a statement of fact.

>>>

 

I agree with ^^^^

 

Also, I think that deep-down, they know that they are responsible for a lot of the troubles in their relationships...spending too much, being too lazy, getting too angry, etc.