Forum topic: loosing things

Sun May 18th, 2014 - 8:35am by Kair

Forum: 
Anger, Frustration & ADHD
My husband and I use that term simply because of the paper I signed... Looses everything and then blames everyone else..like a 5 year old. Currently he is looking for his drivers licence....because he never puts it in a wallet or somewhere safe..just strewns it around like everything else. Of course is the bloody kids fault, they have taken it..and lost it... Or perhaps it's my fault because I cleaned today and potentially moved it. Not his.. No not at all...he is not the stupid ass who didn't put it away. No...it's someone else's fault.. Maybe it's yours...yes you reading this... It's your fault.

Comments

I'm So Exhausted's picture

Submitted by I'm So Exhausted on Sun May 18th, 2014 - 10:45am

Kair,

My spouse "misplaces" his keys, wallet, briefcase, coat, sweatshirts, reading glasses,papers, etc.  

I would get so anxious when we could not find the wallet.  Misplacing things at home is one thing - you know it will turn up sooner or later; unless it got knocked into the trash bin.    Since I have been hovering over our financial security for the past 20+ years, it was an awful feeling.  

*******I have recently seen a lady looking back at me from the mirror - and I said, "Hello friend. Long time no see!""*******

Submitted by Tizzy on Fri Feb 26th, 2016 - 2:47pm

I deal with the exact same nonsense.my husband is constantly losing and misplacing wallet,keys,hat u name it.he never ownes up to anything.its always I moved the item or the kids played with his stuff and they misplaced it.its so frustrating.its always someone else's fault.their behavior is ridiculous.ive misplaced numerous things I can't imagine blaming him or the kids for it.its COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOR when he rages for the smallest inconvenience.

Submitted by overwhelmedwife on Fri Feb 26th, 2016 - 4:37pm

My H filed for divorce TWICE.  The first time he went to live with his brother, and within the first week, he:  Lost wallet, his keys, jacket....and locked his keys in his car TWICE.   Since his brother was generously letting him stay for free, H had no one to blame.  lol

 

Then, the second time he filed, he got his own apt...He was the only one living there and no one else went in it.  He was STILL losing things constantly....hmmm....no one to blame.   

 

Living by himself was a real wake-up call for H.  He had never lived alone before.  No one to blame but himself. 

 

Now, it's just H and me in the house..  He knows that I don't touch his stuff....so any lost stuff is HIS fault...ONLY.   It's forced him to become more self-aware.  

 

You could try putting a bowl near the door for him to deposit keys/wallet/phone....and also a box/bowl near his bed for things to go (where a phone charger can also be).   At least that way, there would be two places that he needs to put things...and if they aren't there, it's only his fault.  

 

Maybe when the kids are off school for awhile, you and the kids can go somewhere w/o him....and let him experience being alone and losing things .....and having no one else to blame.