Forum topic: Problems with completion

Wed Mar 10th, 2010 - 4:08pm by MrsMac

Forum: 
Conflicts Around Household Tasks

With just about everything in life I get 95% finished and then I'm done with whatever it is. I don't know if it is that my head has moved on to the next thing, or I let myself believe that I am finished or maybe both? At any rate... I'm pretty sure this is part of my ADD and it is causing problems especially since I am currently a stay at home mom. The house is my job and with my inability to finish things I am horrible at it. It's causing depression in me and frustration/resentment in my DH.

All of this to ask... What do you do to make sure that you finish household tasks?

Comments

Submitted by brendab on Thu Mar 11th, 2010 - 12:04pm

What do you do to make sure that you finish household tasks?

I am not ADD so sometimes I am concerned that I will give advice that is not taking into account the way your brain is wired, but I will try anyway. 

First, I would ask your husband what 3 tasks he considers most important.  Then I would make a list of the specific results that I needed to do to "complete" the whole task. It would be helpful if you could get help from someone who does know how to clean and understands your struggle with ADD.  

I would create a check off sheet with these specific outcomes, and I would use my check off sheet to determine if the task was done.  I would not trust my own judgment but use the list as my guide.

The reason I think that you are having such trouble is that you see chores as one big job rather than a lot of little jobs.

For instance, clean the kitchen.

  • set a timer during the day to accomplish this task and allow at least one hour without any breaks.  You might not need that long, but better to allow too much time and feel successful than to run out of time and feel like a failure.
  • follow your list automatically, turn off the tv, phone or anything else that might distract you
  • put on upbeat music you enjoy and determine to finish this task as fast as possible, make it a race and use your hyperfocus
  • use a basket or box to remove all items in the kitchen that do not belong there-clothes, paper, pens, etc.  Just pick it up and put it into the box.  Do not make this complicated.
  • gather all dirty dishes, pots, silverware, glasses, bowls and place on sink counter--make sure you get every item that is sitting around, no exceptions
  • scrape all food off, wash, rinse and stack to dry (or fill your dishwasher)
  • store any food items in cabinet or refrigerator
  • wipe ALL surfaces
  • sweep and/or mop all of the floor and pick up the dirt to put in the trash
  • close all cabinets doors and drawers
  • store dishsoap, cleaning rags, broom, mop, bucket in appropriate place
  • take out the trash and garbage
  • give yourself a reward for a job well done

When you believe you are finished, take the list and review each item making sure it is complete.  It would be helpful if you could have someone else check the list with you the first few times.  A second set of eyes is helpful.  I would also ask for your husband's input, maybe request he tells you 3 things you did right and 1 that could be better.  Keep these conversations unemotional and do not feel as if one negative cancels out all the progress you are making.

Keep your list inside a cabinet or drawer to refer to everyday.  Determine to make this routine. Perhaps the same time every day before you are likely to be distracted by other things.

Sari Solden is an author that deals with women and ADD.  She is also ADD and has a website http://www.addjourneys.com/members/sarisolden.  you might get one of her books at the library.

Just the fact that you are asking the question tells me you are motivated to do this. 

Brenda