Submitted by GMeyjes on 09/07/2016.
Very briefly, I wanted to state that out of the three books that I read on the topic of ADHD, I found yours most helpful in understanding the effects on marriage. However, I will say that it irritated me considerably that most examples you showed or discussed the husband was the person with ADHD. This is not the situation I live in. I think it would have been helpful to ensure alternating your examples, so that it does not create the impression that this is mostly a male driven problem.
Gender and ADHD
Submitted by MelissaOrlov on
Hi, and thanks for your kind words about the helpfulness of my book. In the very beginning of it I tell why so many of the examples are of men with ADHD...essentially because I used real examples and quotes from people posting at this website, and the majority of those at the time were non_ADHD women paired with ADHD men.
There are some differences between what happens when women have ADHD though many of the patterns I describe remain the same. A non-ADHD male partner, for example, is likely to start parenting his ADHD wife, criticizing what she does not do that he feels she should. An ADHD woman will resent this...though one difference I have observed is that she will take it personally, like her male ADHD counterpart, but may be more likely to embark on trying to engage with the issues brought up and work on self-improvement rather than retreat. Whether the ADHD issues are addressed remains a different issue.
There are two women who stand out as specialists in how ADHD impacts women to whom I would send you to for info...Sari Solden and Linda Roggli. In addition, you and your partner may wish to join in my upcoming live seminar by phone that starts in October. In it you would be able to ask me all of the questions you !might have about your specific situation.
Hope this helps!