Boundaries (Update)

*Update:  He didn't end up taking the kids to the hospital to meet the cousins.  I don't know why because we had a discussion earlier in the day in which we kind of went round and round.  I kept calm, but emphatic and he knew I was very distressed by the whole thing.  He didn't agree with me or tell me, or even the kids, that it was off, but he ultimately didn't go at all, either.  He had to go out of town for a couple days, but we will be having a talk when he gets back.  I won't make him choose between me and them, but I will not accept him pressuring me about this ever again.  Hard, non-negotiable boundary.

 

My husband has been estranged from his parents and his younger sister for over a decade.  The family is EXTREMELY dysfunctional and his parents were actually very abusive to my husband and his brothers when they were young.  I believe his mom has some mental illness, and the step dad has always pretty much enabled it and basically told everyone to placate her.  I didn't see any of this until AFTER I married my husband, but his mom took a disliking to me soon after I did (I think because I COULD see it), and she was pretty awful to me and eventually to our kids as well.  My husband saw it, and once they stopped speaking to us, promised me he would never put the kids and I around them again until I was completely comfortable with it.  I have a (probably completely irrational) fear of them because of all the stuff they put us through, and I have ALWAYS been afraid that if they ever relented at all, my husband would go running right back to them.... incapable of and unwilling to hold them accountable for their past actions or set any boundaries with their behavior, just like he couldn't in the beginning. 

One of my brothers-in-law was in a terrible motorcycle crash last weekend.  The family all came in.  My husband saw his parents and younger sister for the first time in over 10 years.  His sister now has 5 little kids that he's obviously never met before.  But my husband LOVES little kids, so he IMMEDIATELY wanted a relationship with them.  His sister has been divorced several times and now she and her kids live with his parents.  He started wistfully telling me that he wishes I would be more open to reconciling with his family.  I kind of panicked because this has been my worst nightmare (they really were mean to me and our kids for years before cutting us off) but he reassured me that my fears were groundless.  He said he hardly talked to his parents or sister and spent the whole time playing with her kids.  He said his parents and sister expressed no desire to see me or our kids, or any interest in us whatsoever.  But I have been really uneasy ever since.  I would never prevent him from having a relationship with his family if he really wants one, but it feels like a bit of a betrayal to me considering the past.  This afternoon my husband excitedly announced to our kids that he will take them to the hospital to meet their cousins.  Tomorrow.  Wait, what?  He's just ecstatic about it, and I feel like he's doing exactly what he promised me FOR YEARS that he would never do.  I can't stop him and I don't personally HAVE to go with them to see his family, but WHERE DID THE BOUNDARIES GO???  He didn't ask me if I was ok with him taking our kids to meet up with his family or make me part of the discussion or even consider how I feel about it even tho I had already clearly expressed my discomfort about him jumping back into his family with both feet just last weekend.  I feel like this is just a way to circumvent all his promises and reassurances to me by saying it's really important for our kids to meet their cousins - the children of his sister and his parents who have wanted nothing to do with him or our kids for over a decade and are literally only here bc of his brother's accident.

If you made it all the way through this, I am sorry it is so long.  I am venting, but I want to cry because I am just so frustrated and sad and downright scared that he's about to force these people back on me and I don't know what to do.  But this might be the very last straw if he goes through with it.  I don't think I can deal with that toxic family AND my personal struggles with him at the same time ever again.